Deal With It
by OMG Pterodactyls
Summary: Help! Nevermind, I'm gettin ahead o' myself here. Hi, my name is Hope and I am currently the last human alive. That we know of. Anyway, I am also currently stuck with the Horseman War, and his annoyin sprite, as he travels around on a quest fer revenge. Meanwhile, I have absolutely no idea what is goin on! Read the notes I left lyin around. Oh, and Deal With It.
1. The Beginning Criss-Cross Apple Sauce

**I do not own Darksiders or Iridescent by Linkin Park. So there. Also, I would like to thank detrametal for beta…ing this for me. Also, **_**also**_**, there's going to be a little side story at the bottom so it might be a little confusing. Problem? Deal with it. Ha! See what I did there?**

* * *

><p>I ran. I mean, what else could I do? You would do the same, I know you would. If it's between running for your life,<em> again<em>, or being eaten alive, _again_, you would probably choose running. Don't say you wouldn't 'cause that's lying and lying is bad… right?

Anyway, one moment I'm walking through the woods, looking for blackberries, and the next thing I know, I'm running for my life in a completely different place. From what you ask? Allow me to start at the beginning.

As I said before, one afternoon I was walking through the woods with my two dogs, Missy and Odd. One's a rat terrier and the other's blue healer/white english/smart idiot. I love them both. I was chopping branches out of the way with my machete, Odd was trying to eat my foot again for some… odd reason, and Missy was just trotting along adorably. I had my hood of my sleeveless hoodie up so that random twigs and leaves wouldn't get caught in my short hair. Funny how you can remember the smallest details before your death. Birds were singing. Frogs were croaking. Squirrels were… making whatever sound squirrels make. It was just a normal day. Until I heard a huge crashing sound and felt the ground shake beneath me. Lovely.

The dogs started barking and took off back towards the house. Curiosity overpowering common sense, I followed them, the bells on my anklet and belt loop jingling with every step. Let it not be said, however, that I was not cautious. I pulled my hunting knife from its sheath on my belt and continued running to my home, praying that everything was alright.

Everything was far from alright.

My house was gone. That's the only way I can really describe it. There was nothing there now but a huge crater. My first though was, "Oh my God! Levi!" Leviathan was my pet iguana. A demon spawn who I also loved very dearly. Second was, "My books!" And third, "I'm glad no one's home…"

I was looking for the dogs when I saw something move in the crater where my house once stood. Huge claws appeared at the edge - one of them actually crushed my truck - and a winged bat-looking demon pulled itself up. How did I know it was a demon? It was ugly as sin, that's how.

"Damn boy, you ugly!" I accidently said out loud, drawing its attention.

It let out an ear-piercing screech, climbed the rest of the way out, and charged at me.

"…_Der'mo_…"

I quickly sheathed my blades and ran for the forest, hoping the trees would at least slow it.

They didn't. The demon just mowed them down.

"Look, if this is about callin ya ugly, I'm really sorry alright?! I didn't mean it! I know you're probably beautiful on the inside!" I shouted back at it. As expected, my empty apology did nothing. So I kept running, silently cursing myself for never wearing shoes.

Huh? Is this where the story started off? Nah, man but we're getting close. Now where was I? Ah, yes. Running for my life…the first time.

I didn't dare look behind me but I knew the demon was gaining on me. That's when I reached my first, and last, major obstacle. A barbed wire fence in the middle of the woods. What's it doing here you ask? Cows. That's all I'm saying. I quickly dropped to my belly and started to crawl under it as fast as I could. Apparently, I wasn't fast enough. The demon grabbed my left leg and pulled me back. It held me suspended upside down in front of its ugly mistake of a face, a hungry look in its eyes.

"Hey, dude, I really don't taste good. Seriously, you'd have a way better meal goin and eatin one o' the cows in the field."

Needless to say, it didn't listen to me. It let out a creepy chuckle as it dangled me over its huge mouth like a worm on a hook. It released my leg and I fell. It bit down, its crooked fangs piercing my stomach. I screamed at the excruciating pain as it chewed me in half. I could feel the blood gushing from the multiple wounds. That's all I can remember before the darkness, I assumed was death, claimed me. That, and its insides were also ugly.

* * *

><p>I floated in the darkness who knows how long. I had no idea what was going on, no sense of time or direction. I wondered if it was purgatory or limbo or any of the other places you hear about that come after death. Frankly, I didn't care. It was a comfortable darkness.<p>

Finally, something happened. I was floating, as usual, when a strange scene appeared before my eyes. It was an entirely different world altogether. Honestly, it looked how Hell was described to me growing up. Except, the ones describing it failed to mention the three huge heads made out of rock with glowing eyes and huge gaping mouths that sometimes filled with fire and a huge man dressed in a tattered red cloak and black, silver, and gold armor with a way oversized left hand.

The man kneeled before the three rock heads, his hood covering his head so I couldn't see his face.

The center head spoke first, its voice a gruff sound that was expected from a rock head, "**The law is clear: When the **_**Seventh Seal**_** is broken… **_**Four Horsemen**_** shall ride forth to punish the wicked… be they Sons of Men… Lords of Heaven… or the Dregs of Hell… All upon Earth will be judged, and the pact forged anew… YOU FORGET YOUR POST**_**, HORSEMAN**_**! YOU FORGET THE LAW! No call was given! Yet the **_**Destroyer**_** marched, and there you were found - under his black banner if the claims are true."**

_Whoa, this is trippy. He cain't really mean the real __**Four Horsemen o' the Apocalypse**__? Can he? No freakin way. And that's one o' em? _I tried to speak up but I had no voice, only my thoughts. And they were all over the place. As usual._ Wait, what the fuck're they talkin about anyway? And what kind o' lame and over-compensatin name is "__**The Destroyer**__"?_

The supposed **Horseman** spoke up, his voice also gruff but much less so than Stone Head, "To hell with your claims! The seals were broken! I was summoned!"

_Why am I thinkin o' artic seals…?_

Next was the rightmost head, who just sounded plain mean, "**But where are the other **_**Horsemen**_**? Were they not **"**summoned**"** as well?**"

_Oh yeah, there're four o' 'em…_

"**The **_**Seven Seals**_** are hidden, as they have been since the pact was forged, eons ago… all of them intact… there was no call.**" Center said.

_What is this pact and what does it have ta do with artic seals?_

"**You aided the Dark Ones. Broke a sacred covenant that has doomed Mankind, and threatened the Balance! Do you deny it?**" asked Righty.

_Doomed Mankind? I guess that would explain the demons… and the meteors hittin all over Earth… That's kind o' a stupid question though, he's already denied it once, right? O' course he's gonna do it again._

"When I rode… Heaven and Hell were already at war. **Abaddon** was there. He KNEW something…!" said Red.

_Great, another person, er thing, I know nuffin about. Thank ya fer that Big Red!_

Center: "_**Abaddon**_** fell, fighting off the chaos you unleashed!**"

_Big Red started the Apocalypse? But he don't look like he would hurt a fly… Pfft! Oops, I lied._

Red: "I fought, powerless against the demons! And still you accuse me?!"

_Poor you, it's not like ya have armor ta protect ya er anythin right? And another stupid question. I thought there were none._

Finally, Lefty spoke up, he sounded nicer than the other two but still had that superiorly annoying tone, "**Your defeat proves nothing! Likely, the **_**Destroyer**_** cast you aside when he was finished with you!**"

_Wait, Big Red was defeated? By what?! The guy looks as if he could take on a volcano and win!_

Righty: "**You have defiled the Law, **_**Horseman**_**. You will be punished.**"

_What, does he have ta sit in the corner er somethin?_

Red: "I serve only the **Council**. Only the Balance. As the **Horsemen** always have. Send me back I will punish the ones responsible."

_I get the feelin that this is the __**Council**__… and they're a buncha jerks._

Center: "**How? What hope do you have against the **_**Destroyer's**_** armies? You are powerless!**"

_Oh, so now this big, bad __**Destroyer**__ dude has armies? Laaaaame!_

Red: "Then I will fail, and the demons will have carried out your sentence."

_What sentence? Puttin ya in a corner? Takin away your cell phone? ...What else do kids fear these days? _

Center: "**Very well. You will return to Earth. But, you will be watched. Come forth.**"

Big Red did as he was told and got close to the three heads. Well, as close as he could get with the lava pit they were sitting in. He kneeled by the lava pool and stuck his oversized gauntlet into the molten liquid.

…_You freakin idiot! Why the fuck would ya do that?!_

The man grunted in pain as he held his hand in the lava.

_O' course it's gonna hurt! What, did ya expect it ta feel like stickin your hand puddin?! Also, why would anyone stick their hand in puddin?! Now I want puddin!_

Big Red finally drew his hand out, some black liquidy mist now clinging to it. From the mist came a black and silver figure that seemed to be at least half mist. It had six teal colored eyes, spindly limbs, and an annoying voice that grated on my every nerve with the very first word. And yet, he had no mouth. Hm…

Center: "**The **_**Watcher**_** is bound to you. It will ensure your loyalty.**"

_**Watcher**__ huh? How appropriate… and creepy._

The **Watcher** swirled around the **Horseman**, "Remember that. Or I will really get under your skin!" He turned back into mist, disappearing inside Big Red's gauntlet, making him fall to his knees in pain.

Center: "**ENOUGH! Rise, **_**War**_**… and arm yourself. **_**Chaoseater**_**. The angry blade thirsts for destruction.**"

_So that's __**War**__… I feel as if I shoulda known this. And __**Chaoseater**__? That's a cool name. So not as lame as the __**Destroyer**__._

**War** walked over to where a huge sword rose out of a smaller pool of lava. It was black and gray with –What are they called? - death-masks down the middle and almost as tall as the **Horseman**. He drew it from the pool, easily twirling it before slinging it across his back where it mysteriously stayed with nothing holding it there…

Lefty: "**The souls of the dead will be your currency. Some enemies are more easily bought than killed.**"

_Souls? Really? How do ya even fit those in your pocket? Does he even have pockets?_

Big Red traveled to another platform on the other side of the rock heads where a pit full of swirling, blue _somethings_ awaited him. He lifted his gauntlet into the air and the blue stuff turned into screaming faces and flew into the raised hand.

_Oh… guess not._

Center: "**Seek the demon **_**Vulgrim**_**. Few can afford his services, but perhaps you can strike a bargain.**"

_Whoa, aren't demons supposed ta be the bad guys usually?_

**War**: "The **Council** confers with demons now, does it?"

_Thank you! See? Big Red understands!_

Lefty: "**Since the truce was broken, some demons have fallen from the Destroyer's favor. **_**Vulgrim**_** is one such outcast… he has long sought an audience with us."**

_Well, aren't ya'll just a couple o' big shots._

**War**: "How long have I been here?"

_My question exactly, but about myself._

Before he could get an answer, **War** burst into flames and disappeared.

…_The frikkin hell man?! What the fuck?! Ya'll told him all that, even gave him his badass sword and money souls just so ya'll could set him on fuckin fire?! Sadistic, twisted, stone-headed bastards!_

Before I could continue my pointless, and unheard, rant any further, the scene disappeared and I fell back into darkness.

_Hey! What the hell was that?_ I don't even know who I was talking to, if anyone, but I had the feeling something, or someone, was listening. _C'mon man! What the hell happened ta Big Red? They couldn't just off him like that! That's bullshit! I demand a redo!_

No one answered. I went to sleep. What else could I do?

Time passed, I think. Again, I have no idea how long. I'm not even sure if there is such thing as "time" where I was. Eventually, something woke me up.

"**It is time to wake up. You will return to Earth as well.**"

I did what I normally do and kept sleeping. If he wasn't going to answer me then I wasn't going to answer him.

"…**Wake up!**"

I did "wake up" briefly but turned over in my imaginary bed and went back to sleep.

The voice gave a frustrated sigh, ripped off my imaginary covers, and kicked me off my bed. Where I landed on Earth.

I opened my eyes to see a bright blue sky and white fluffy clouds through the tree tops. That is a lie. The sky was more of a reddish color, dark clouds - smoke maybe? - floated here and there, and meteors still rained from the sky. What a lovely day.

Obviously not dead, I sat up with a groan inside my own little crater, "Why am I in the city?" I think I was in the city. It looked like a city, albeit destroyed. Had the air of a city. You know what they say, "If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck… it may be a duck." It appeared I really was back on Earth. And not where I left it.

"How the fuck did I get here? And how am I not dead?" I lifted up my hoodie and, indeed, there were two huge scars on my stomach, one going halfway across, where the demon's teeth had gone in. Though I don't remember them coming out. Sorta glad for that.

"Which means that _that_ was real. Which also means that _this_ is real… I think." I looked up at the sky, "Alright Mr. Rude Voice, now that you've almost successfully woken me up and sent me here, what am I supposed ta do now?!"

Not surprisingly, the voice didn't answer.

"Guess I'm on my own…"

Which wasn't entirely true. My shouting had attracted a number of surprise guests. Demonic surprise guests. Fugly demonic surprise guests. Bluish skin, multiple sets of horns sweeping back from their face, stunted wings that were absolutely useless, and vicious fangs. Beautiful. There were about four of them, all carrying a crude weapons that resembled a cross between a scythe and a pickaxe.

One of them shouted something, pointing at me, causing them all to look.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer!" I shouted at them.

My mistake.

The fuglies started to run towards me with a roar, shoving each other out of the way so that they could be the one to kill the human.

"…_Bon sang_…" quickly getting up, I stumbled out of my crater and ran for my life, the second time.

Here we are, finally back at where we started. Took longer than expected but… whatever.

I took inventory as I ran:

Machete: check

Hunting knife: check

Pocket knife: check

Other pocket knife: check

Brass knuckles: check

Lighter: check

Emergency arrowhead necklace: check

Really long chain that can be used to strangle: check

Cellphone that won't do me any good: check

A way to get myself out of this mess: …uncheck

Yes, I know. I'm a walking, talking arsenal of fun and destruction.

Then I saw it. A platform thingy connected to a nearby building and suspended over the street. Where I'm from, if you don't know how to climb, you had a very lame childhood and probably should have moved. Climbing up the side of the building was nothing to me.

I swung onto the platform and looked at the demons down below, "Ha! Can't get me now ya fugly little bastards, can ya?!"

That's when one of them also started scaling the side of the building.

I had trapped myself and I was probably going to die… again. Don't get me wrong, I don't fear death, never have, but it's the pain that usually comes with it that I don't like. Not to mention that I already experienced it once and do not wish to do so again.

Desperately looking for a way to escape, I saw none. Demons on one side, zombies that came out of nowhere on the other, another demon coming up, and none of my weapons stood a chance against them. I was so out of luck.

Or so I thought.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something moving. Another demon. I was too far away to tell anything else. Except that in front of this demon stood the **Horseman War**.

They looked as if they were having a very serious discussion and I hated to interrupt them but felt that I must. "Hey! Big Red! I really hate ta barge in on your conversation like this, but if it's not too much trouble could ya come help me?! Please?!"

Both demon and Rider turned to look at me. For a moment I feared that they would ignore my plight and continue their conversation but the** Horseman** came to my rescue, swinging the massive blade from his back as he did so.

It didn't take Big Red long to deal with the demons and zombies down below, which wasn't very surprising. The only ones left were the one he was talking to and the one who climbed up… The one I had forgotten about until his shadow fell over me, his scythe/pickaxe raised high over his head for the kill.

I dodged out of the way as he brought his weapon down, barely managing to get out of the wa As awesome as my dodge was, I miscalculated how much space I had and ended up rolling off the edge of the platform. I clung to the ledge with all my strength, which wasn't very much at the moment. It was maybe a fifteen foot drop to the street below, and though a fall like that might not kill me, it would probably end in a broken leg or two and I was _not_ willing to take that chance.

The demon stood above me, doing some sort of chuckle/growl thing before raising his weapon again. Remembering my gaming time, I reached up, grabbed its ankle, and yanked as hard as I could. Succeeding, but just barely, in dragging him off the edge and onto the Horseman's waiting sword below, I was too give out to much else but hang on.

"Drop." I heard **War** say below me.

"Hell ta the nuh-uh. Kinda only human here, unlike somebody else."

I heard something that sounded like wind but wasn't really and the **Watcher** appeared above me, "You heard the **Horseman**, human."

"Ya better not be about ta do what I _think_ you're about ta do…"

He started picking off my fingers one by one, effectively loosening my grip until…

"I'm going to kill you…" I fell. Tightly shutting my eyes, I waited for an impact that never came. I cracked one eye open to see **War's **face just inches from mine and him glaring at me with glowing blue eyes.

Naturally, I started to panic, and I don't panic easily, and scrambled to get out of his hold. Also naturally, I ended up falling flat on my face but quickly recovered and scooted away from him until my back hit a dead tree.

Everyone gathered around to stare at the little human, even the demon **War** had been talking to earlier. Now, maybe it's just me, but I don't like being stared at. Which is why I tried to stay out of the limelight as much as possible back in school and work. Getting attention usually got you trouble, and I don't mean the board game.

"What're ya'll waitin fer? Tricks? Sorry, but I cain't do a backflip." I said, standing and brushing the dirt off my pants. I picked up the demon's, who had somehow disappeared, weapon and hefted it onto my shoulder. It was heavier than I first thought but manageable. "I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your assistance but I fear I _must_ be on my way." I said in a British accent. Don't ask. It's just one of the many.

I gave them a formal bow, you try doing a curtsy in pants, and turned to leave but the **Watcher** flew around to stop me, "Where do you think you're going, human?"

"Away from your ugly ass fa-… How does your face work?!"

He actually floated away from me at my outburst, "What?"

"Not just your face, how does your entire anatomy work?! What are ya doin with six eyes?! What's the point?! I mean, I know you're called the **Watcher** but do ya really need six eyes ta do that? And how do six eyes work anyway? Are you like a chameleon er somethin? Er a fly? Are they all sorta connected so it's kinda like havin two eyes but with six? And how are ya able ta say some words? Lips are required fer the pronunciation o' some words but ya have none so how are ya able ta make those sounds?" This was annoying me way more than it should have.

That's when something hit me, not literally, and I fell to my knees in realization. The world had ended. Demons appeared, meteors fell. That's what the apocalypse is supposed to look like, right? Soooo, everyone I know and/or loved is probably dead… What a bummer! And I mean that as seriously as possible. And I know, random realization.

I barely noticed the **Watcher** floating around me, "Is she broken?"

"How long has it been since the apocalypse started?!" I suddenly asked.

"About a century in your years." the **Watcher** answered.

"Shut up! I wasn't askin _you_!" I yelled at him. "A hundred years… _Fick mich_…"

Then the other demon came towards me, making the **Watcher**back off, "The last human in existence, hmm?"

"What's it ta _you_?"

"And a feisty one at that. Many would pay just to _see_ the last human…"

"Izzat so? Let me tell ya what, ya can watch me walk away. Free o' charge."

This seemed to displease him as he hissed at me disdainfully and backed away. That's me, making new friends wherever I go.

"Now if ya'll will excuse me, I really must be goin. Thank ya again fer your help Big Red."

The **Watcher**, again, floated into my path, "You're not going anywhere human. How are you still alive?"

This guy was really starting to annoy me. So I did what I usually did when people, or creatures in this case, annoyed me. I smiled.

I gave the annoying little sprite my nicest smile and used my nicest voice which, in turn, pissed him off. "Well, that is a problem isn't it? Ya see, I really wanna leave so I don't have ta look at your confusin face anymore, have the creepy demon stare at me like I'm a fat sack o' cash, er souls in this case, er Big Red glarin at me like I'm just another problem. And as fer your second question, I have no idea how I am still alive seein as how I was eaten by a demon nearly a century ago and even have the scars ta prove it. So if ya really want an answer, try askin the voice in the sky who sent me here. Though, I doubt they'll answer ya… fer whatever reason."

Keep in mind that during my little explanation I was thinking of at least twenty different ways to kill him. I am proud to admit, however, that only seven of them involved actual torture.

Infuriated, and obviously tired of trying to deal with me, he flew to the **Horseman**, "**War**! We are taking this human with us!"

"Excuse me? I ain't goin nowhere with any o' you, my momma raised a smarter girl than that. In fact, I shouldn't even be talkin to ya, seein as how ya'll are strangers. My momma always told me not ta talk ta er go with strangers, even if they offer ya candy… do ya have any candy?"

"You're coming even if I have to drag you by the hair myself!" the **Watcher **said, grabbing a fistful of said hair and tugging on it.

His mistake.

I instantly went into my primal "no touchies" mode that came with being touched by someone unfamiliar. Everything went momentarily black. When my sight returned, I was sitting on the sprite's back, my chain wrapped around his throat. He was bent backwards, trying to lessen the pressure and grabbing at the small chain with one hand, the other was pinned beneath my new weapon.

I was surprised, "no touchies" had never caused blackouts or anything this drastic. Cool.

I seriously thought about ending the poor being's existence when I saw something that made me loosen the makeshift weapon.

"No friggin way! Izzat my book bag?!" For those of you wondering "What the carp?" - yes, I meant to say carp, it's a type of fish - I love this book bag. It's white and fuzzy with a hood with eyes and multicolored rounded spikes going down the back so that when you put the hood up you look like an adorable dinosaour.

Unwrapping the chain from the creature's neck and back around my wrist, I ran for the precious bag hanging precariously by a pink strap on a fence post. I snatched it off, immediately looking for the- Yup there it was, a faded blue pastel stain on the edge of the hood.

I threw it on, twirling around in doing so, "Holy bloody cupcakes! Best. Day. Ever! Except fer everyone dyin an all that." I skipped back to the trio with a genuine smile on my face and grabbed my new weapon, freeing the **Watcher**, "Are ya'll ready ta go er not?"

The annoying sprite got in my face, "I thought you weren't coming?"

"Well I'm in a good mood now and realize I ain't got no better options. Ya'll might wanna hurry before I'm uncooperative again. By the way, where're we goin?"

Both sprite and **Horseman** looked to the demon who flew to a small, slightly raised circle on the ground in front of a library building. "These ancient Gates have a mind of their own." he said, "But with THIS… you may reach… an understanding." The demon made some light brown horn appear out of thin air and gave it to **War**. I guess it was a horn, kinda looked like it, albeit with a screaming face, or three, at one end. "Beyond the gate, seek out **Samael's Prison**. Once, **Samael** was close in power to the Dark Prince himself. Some might even say, a threat. You will find he is no friend to the **Destroyer**."

_**Samael**__… why does that name seem so familiar? Was he a dude from one o' my games er somethin?_

With that, the **Horseman** started towards the supposed Gate while the demon mysteriously sunk into his little circle, "Seek me out when you've gathered more souls. I will make it worth your while…"

_I guess that means he was__** Vulgrim**__… Oh well._

"**Vulgrim **said the Horn was the key to getting past the Gate. Are…you…actually going to put that thing to your mouth?" The **Watcher** asked.

"He's got a point ya know. Ya got no idea where that thing's been."

Big Red just ignored us and blew the horn anyway. At the sound, the gate blocking the way into the building split in two to reveal a huge rock man.

All I could think was, _I want one…_

Rock Man leaned down to speak to **War**, "The Horn call of my ancestors. Awakened at last from the dreamless sleep. Then… we are free?"

"None are free while the **Destroyer** still breathes." Big Red answered.

"Hmmmn… The **Destroyer**… yes… To his service we are bound, though enemies we remain. So his enemies we call friend. Pass now, friend. Must bring victory. Must bring freedom."

I watched as Rock Man stepped over us and went on his rocky way.

"If that was the gate, I can't WAIT to find out what's behind it!" the **Watcher** said.

Again… I had to agree… That actually hurt to say…

"**Samael's Prison **must be close. Keep your eyes peeled… or I'll peel them for you." he threatened before disappearing.

"…Well, that was interestin. Say, are we goin ta meet more o' them?" I asked, still amazed by Rock Man.

Again, I was ignored until we reached the double doors leading into the library. **War** suddenly turned to me, glowing blue eyes glaring.

"Why are ya always glarin?" I asked him, "Would it kill ya ta smile every once in a while, I mean really."

"What is your name, human?"

"Well it certainly ain't 'human'."

"Tell me your name."

"What's the magic word?"

**War** just glared at me some more. So I glared back.

"It's jellybeans. The magic word is jellybeans. And my name is Hope. Also, don't bother introducin yourself, I already know. And don't ask how, I suddenly don't feel like talkin anymore beyond this last question. So are we goin ta this prison er what?"

In answer, the **Horseman** turned and kicked down the door with a grunt.

_A bit excessive but okay, as long as we get where we're goin I guess._

I followed him through the doors which slammed shut behind us, hm. Looking around, I saw that we were indeed in the lobby of a library. Benches, tables, and chairs were scattered haphazardly about. Seeing as how the right way was blocked, we went up the stairs on the left side. The only sounds to be heard were his heavy footsteps, my bells, and…moaning? That can't be good.

We reached the top of the stairs to see zombies roaming around below us. Perfect.

Taking off my book bag, I threw it at **War** to catch, "I got this Big Red!"

I jumped down to face the zombies myself and take out all of my depression, confusion, anger, and frustration the only way I know how. Through violence.

"Carnage and mayhem bitches! Come get some!" I roared at the zombies, effectively grabbing their attention. "Giggles!"

They came and got some and the fun began.

I swung the scythe/pickaxe down, actually crushing one zombie's head into the floor. "This is fer my family!" Yes, I include pets in this statement.

Hitting another with a side attack, I managed to cut off part of its arm. "This is fer my friends!" Due to my anti-social behavior there were only like three er four of em, but they were really good friends.

I jumped back to dodge an attack and retaliated with my own. "This is fer disgracin a library with your disgustin presence!" Again, anti-social and loved to read. In school, the library was my haven. Not from bullies, they knew better than to mess with me, but from people in general.

One managed to rake my arm with its claws, drawing blood and fueling my rage even more. "This is because you're one hell o' an ugly motherfucker who needs ta be killed fer damn good reasons!" …I feel this one doesn't need explaining.

By the time the last one was pinned to the floor with… I'ma name my weapon Barsus… By the time the last one was pinned to the floor with Barsus, I was breathing hard and could feel hot tears running down my face, blurring my vision.

"SON O' A BIIIIIIIIIITCH!" I screamed at the ceiling. Finally done, I wiped the tears from my face, threw up my hood, picked up Barsus, and turned to the **Horseman **with a smile, "All done."

He jumped down as well and handed my book bag back to me with a grunt. I followed him as he led the way down into a pit, up the other side, and out of the library.

Oh hey, I'm bleeding… Oh well, it'll heal.

* * *

><p><em>Dear whoever is reading this little note I left,<em>

_First off, good job of finding it. Though I don't know why. Second, I'm writing these to document my travels with the **Horseman** **War** for whatever reason. See if you can find them all to unravel the whole story. Or not. I don't care. Third, if you don't like it… deal with it._

_The last human currently known to exist,_

_Hope_

* * *

><p>The she demon folded the note back up and stuffed it into her pocket. So… her <strong>Horseman<strong> was running around with another girl was he? And a human no less… Well… she would have to change that.

"When you were standing in the wake of devastation, When you were waiting on the edge of the unknown, And with the cataclysm raining down, Insides crying, 'Save me now!' You were there, impossibly alone."

She sang, twirling one of her twin blades and heading towards the Blood Prince's prison. Maybe she should pay him a visit.


	2. Holy Hot Hanging!

**I'm back! And I still don't own Darksiders! Thank you detrametal!**

* * *

><p>We came out the back door of the library and into a blistering inferno. Well, it was a blistering inferno to me, the <strong>Horseman<strong> acted like the heat didn't even affect him. Then again, it could just be me. I was never good with hot things. Especially guys…

While passing through a building that was split clean in half, we were attacked by some orange monkey/dog/demon things, which **War** dealt with quickly, and we continued on our way like nothing ever happened until we reached a _huge_ platform suspended above a _huger_ pool of lava by also _huge_ chains. Had to be the prison. No doubt. Little doubt. Not much.

"Hey, who's that?" I asked, pointing at the demon pacing across the platform. "Is that the dude we're lookin fer?"

**War** pushed me behind one of the spiked rocks that lined the walkway to the prison, "Stay here."

"Hey! I won't get in the way, I promise! I wish ta know things!"

He just walked off towards the prison, and the demon, who shall be named General for reasons.

General caught sight of the **Horseman**, "_Drum heim gol straga bor._" He said in some weird language.

"What the fuck is he sayin?"

"_Non straga sindora._" Big Red answered him in the same language.

"What the fuck is _he_ sayin?"

General laughed at whatever he said. I didn't think **War** could make a joke, or take one for that matter… "Do you know what's imprisoned here? There are things even YOU should fear **Horseman**! Once you were strong. But now you are weak. And you are alone."

I was tempted to run out there and prove General wrong but stayed where I was.

"The **Destroyer** knows of your coming. Even now, he moves his legions against you!"

_**Destroyer **__this, __**Destroyer**__ that, blah, blah, blah. I bet he ain't so bad in person… demon… What is the __**Destroyer **__anyway?_

"Then I will make this quick." **War **answered.

General roared, "Destroy him! To my side, dogs!" and they started to fight.

The platform was surrounded by some orange flame-ish stuff that prevented anyone from coming out or going in. Not that I tried or anything…

The **Horseman **immediately went on the attack, easily dodging General's. After a while General yelled out, "Destroy this fool!" and went on the defensive and summoned some smaller demons.

"That's cheatin ya dirty, scum-sucking bastard!" I yelled.

Needless to say, yet I need to say it, it didn't take **War** long to deal with the baby demons.

"I will take your HEAD!" General yelled, attacking the **Horseman** with some spinning attack that left him dizzily leaning on his ax.

Again, **War **attacked. Again, General summoned baby demons, "Take this fool's life!"

Again, they didn't last too long.

They repeated the song and dance with a lovely "Bathe in his blood!"

"Pathetic. You fight a losing battle." General said as **War** dealt the finishing blows with General's own weapon. Nice touch, if I do say so myself.

Now that General was gone, and the barrier was down, I ran forward to join the **Horseman** as one of the three stone gargoyle started puking up blood.

"…Ew…"

"Over here!" the **Watcher **said, coming out of **War's **gauntlet and floating over to a non-puking gargoyle.

"No dur! Never would have guessed." I mumbled.

Big Red grabbed hold of the statue and started to push it forward.

"Just ONE hideous, blood puking gargoyle? The plumbing must be stopped up…" said the **Watcher**.

"Er it could just be that the gargoyles ain't where they're supposed ta be therefore the pipes, er whatever, ain't connected properly makin it where the blood _cain't_ flow. But it's a wonder, if that's the case, that the blood ain't just spewin up anyway. Then again, it could have clotted. Blood tends ta do that."

My explanation earned me a sextuple glare, which I returned with my own double glare. Glares for everybody!

Once **War** got the second gargoyle in place, blood came from its mouth and flowed to the circle in the middle of the prison, causing something to roar and the whole thing to shake.

"Please tell me that's supposed ta happen…"

Stepping over the blood streams, we went to the third, and final, gargoyle.

"If this were my pad, all the statues would flow with blood - not just the one." **Watcher** spoke up again.

"If this were your pad, I wouldn't be caught dead here." I told him. And was ignored.

Big Red pushed the statue into place and the blood started to flow.

I hid behind a gargoyle as another roar sounded and the center of the platform sunk allowing orange flames to come up instead.

"**War**! Are you here to play executioner?" came a deep voice from out of nowhere. A giant demon with upside-down wings, horns and…a tail…came out of the flames and landed in front of **War**. "They should have sent all four of you."

"I have no interest in killing you, **Samael**."

_So that's __**Samael**__… pretty cool. He has my approval in the looks department._

"Ha! The **Destroyer**? He's beyond your reach. Beyond mine."

"Has prison made you a coward?"

_Oooooh! Burn! I wonder whose bitch he was…_

**Samael** roared in Big Red's face, spitting fire, yet the **Horseman **didn't even flinch.

"Perhaps there is a way…"

_Wow, he's more bi-polar than I am._

But, you will need to get inside the **Destroyer's **spire. The Tower is guarded by four of his Chosen. Bring me their Hearts."

_Doesn't he know that everyone uses souls now?_

"And ask me no questions..."

_Why?_

"My reasons for helping you are my own."

_Oh, okay. Why?_

"Where can I find these 'Guardians'?" **War **asked.

_I thought they were called the Chosen?_

"First, seek the **Twilight Cathedral**, where the **Bat Queen Tiamat** has gone to roost."

_**Tiamat**__? Hydra? Has he been playin Final Fantasy?_

"The whole of her domain is a blistering inferno. By land, you will never reach it. Find the high ground… with this."

**Samael** waved his clawed hand, which was glowing blue, and suddenly **War **had blue and black wings… and so did I.

I spun in a circle, trying to put the wings out or make them go away or… _something_ so I wouldn't get caught by Mr. Huge Scary Demon. Finally, they disappeared and I tuned back in to the conversation.

"And bring me her still-beating Heart!" Wrapping his wings around himself, he sunk back into the platform.

I went to meet **War**, "Why would he go _back_ inta his prison?"

The **Watcher **appeared, "Hmm…the **Twilight Cathedral**. **Samael** said something about seeking the high ground? Might be tough - for a muckdweller like you."

"If he's a 'muckdweller', then what the hell're you? The muck?"

**Watcher** disappeared back into **War's** gauntlet with a snarl.

"Ya know, I get the distinct impression that he doesn't like me."

Being ignored yet again, I followed **War** back the way we came until we reached a giant crack in the ground prevented us from going any further.

I looked down to see lava flowing below, "That's hot… How're we gonna get across?"

As if in answer, blue…glowing…windy looking orb appeared in the middle of the crack.

"Well, that might help in some way but I'm unsure as ta how… Any ideas Big Red?"

That's when the **Horseman** jumped, opened the wings recently acquired by **Samael**, hit the blue orb, flew higher and landed on the other side. He looked back, waiting for me to follow.

"Okaaaay, just give me a sec." I backed up a bit, ran, jumped, and…flew… Okay, that's exaggerating. It was more of a glide. I landed on the other side, sticking the landing. "Awesomeness! Can we do that again?"

Suddenly… Zombie attack!

I pulled Barsus from its place from between my back and book bag as **War **did the same with **Chaoseater**.

"I'll get the babies if you get the Mr. Spontaneous Combustion?" I suggested.

He just grunted and went after Mr. (see name above).

It didn't take us long and soon we were across the crack on the other side on an abandoned train tunnel…shot through with spikes. We passed through a hole in the wall and into an underground cave filled with, you guessed it, lava… and monkey/dog/demons. After them, we flew up to a higher ledge, with help of another orb. Then we came to the vines…

"Umm… dude, I cain't even reach that."

Luckily, **War** knew how to solve this. He picked me up and threw me to where I could grab onto the vines, which were super icky.

Grab onto them I did. I clung to the vines like a scared cat as the **Horseman **climbed up past me, "I'm not sure whether ta thank ya er cuss ya out so bad a sailor would be put ta shame."

He ignored me and I followed him across the wall, past the…whatever…that popped out, across the ceiling and to the ground on the other side. Where he dropped and I floated down. These wings were really handy. And my arms really hurt.

"Hey what's this?" I asked, noticing a stained glass window on the cave wall. "What a weird place ta put a window…" My musings were cut short by more hounds attacking but **War** easily blew them into the lava with the Horn.

We came to another crack in the ground with no blue orb in sight. Big Red could jump this thing like it was nothing, as for me…

"Um…couldja…?"

He picked me up again and threw me across the crack where I rolled to a stop on the other side.

"Thanks!" I called, spitting out dirt, "I think…"

He joined me and we continued on through a narrow tunnel until…we reached a huge pool of lava… luckily there were two blue orbs floating above it to help us across.

I leaned over the pool, feeling the heat radiating off the lava, "Well hot damnation… literally…"

**War **went first, easily crossing the lava pool, and waited for me on the other side.

Again, I backed up, ran forward, and jumped. And barely made the first orb. Behind me, my wings flapped of their own volition when I hit the first orb and I rose higher. High enough to hit my head on the ceiling and float down to the next orb and the other side of the pool. The **Horseman** was already walking off and I ran to catch up with him. Not that that's new.

We reached a ledge and **War** silently offered to throw me again but I declined and climbed my way up - it was more jumping than climbing actually - but we made it up and found ourselves in another train tunnel.

And a graveyard.

* * *

><p><em>Congratulations! You found the second note! Having fun yet? Neither am I… Anyway, yeah…. Whatever.<em>

_It's still just me,_

_Hope_


	3. Heimlich Manuver!

**Don't own Darksiders! Don't like graveyards! Don't have cupcakes! Don't wanna forget to thank detrametal!**

* * *

><p>A graveyard… Great! I love the dead! And sarcasm! It's such a beautiful thing, wouldn't you agree?<p>

Before I could get over my mini freak out, **War** had already started out of the tunnel and into the creepy graveyard. I jogged to keep up with him and stuck close to his side. I'd seen enough horror movies to know that something was-

Out from one of the graves popped a skeleton… Knew it… This thing was larger than any human I've ever known, yet it came from a human grave… Complete with huge sword and bloodlust! Batteries sold separately.

Mr. Bones came running at us but **War** knocked it into the air and backhanded it so hard it exploded into a million tiny bones.

"Ooooh, pretty… nasty."

Suddenly, we were surrounded by more Mr. Bones and I drew Barsus as **War** grabbed **Chaoseater**.

"I've always wanted ta fight a skeleton, not really but ya know… new dreams, since I cain't watch mornin glories bloom anymore."

The skeletons came at us. I copied General's move and spun with my weapon, catching a few of them and tearing them in half. Meanwhile, **War** was doing even better as he destroyed skeleton after skeleton… and tombstone after tombstone.

"Hey! Show some respect!" I yelled at him. You must always respect the dead… Unless they attack you first, I guess.

He didn't hear me and we continued to fight until we were surrounded by piles of bones, weapons, and meager pieces of armor.

"Stupid **Horseman**." I said, walking off. Again, he didn't seem to hear me.

As we passed under one of the many trees, a bat dropped down, spreading its massive wings and screeching like a banshee. I snagged one of its wings with Barsus, which was still in my hand, bringing the demon down.

"Do. Not. Fuck. With. Me." I ripped the weapon out, nearly slicing the wing completely off, and left the demon to suffer… Shut up, I'm in a bad mood. I heard **War** behind me finish off the bat as I walked on.

We passed through the graveyard, with only a few more encounters with the undead, and reached the paved road on the other side of a broken wall. It was supposed to be paved I guess, but most of it was gone, showing the ground and pipes beneath. Abandoned cars littered the road, a reminder that no matter how smart and strong humanity thought it was, we were destroyed so easily in the end…

I sighed, deciding not to think anymore - always a good tactic - and noticed lanterns hanging from some of the trees. "Soooo, who do ya suppose hung all these lanterns up?" I asked the **Horseman**, not really expecting an answer. "Was it the **Destroyer** dude? Ya know, he wanted ta make his world all pretty and bright, even the graveyards, so he hung these up? Doesn't seem like somethin a bad guy would do, and he failed miserably, but at least he tried right?"

"Don't you ever shut up?" the **Watcher** asked, shouted really, appearing out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere but you know what I mean.

"Ya can hear me inside his gauntlet? How does that work anyway?"

"Be quiet human!"

I could feel myself smile, though I tried not to, "Hmm… Nah, I'm good."

Before the **Watcher** could come up with a comeback, we reached the next Gate and **War** blew the horn, awakening the sleeping giant, "Hmmmn…"

"I have come for the **Destroyer**." **War** told him.

"My brothers spoke of your coming. But, a powerful curse holds me now. I cannot help you."

_Aw, it's okay Rock Man. Hope'll take care o' you._

"Any curse can be broken." **War**… reassured him?

"Yes… perhaps… These servants of the **Destroyer** walk unseen within the **Realm of Shadow**. By their blood we are bound… By their blood shall we be free."

_First souls, then hearts, now blood? Currency today is worse than fashion in my day!_

"I can no longer move within the **Shadow Realm**. Much of my power has left me."

_And yet ya can still kick some serious ass…_

"You need not enter it! I will grant you the power to see into the accursed realm, for a time. But to what end? What hope have we now against the **Destroyer's** foul sorcery?"

For some reason I still cannot fathom, **War** drew his sword and pointed it at Rock Man, "Hope will not bring you freedom."

_I sure can try…_

"Yes…"

Rock man breathed…orange on us and suddenly my eyes were burning like hellfire. The Gate returned to his original position while I tried to rub the orange from my eyes.

"Find where these **Shadow Lurkers **hide and KILL THEM ALL! They can't be that hard to find." The **Watcher **ordered before disappearing.

I stopped rubbing my eyes to find that I had been crying blood and everything had taken on an orange-ish tint and screaming faces rose from the ground. **War** was already on his way to look for the **Shadow Lurkers** and I ran to catch up with him, wiping the blood from my face.

We traveled back up the road towards an orange - I hate orange even more now - beam that shot up from the ground.

_Well, that was easy._

The **Shadow Lurker** was just a - you guessed it - orange and grey platform on the ground.

**War** stepped up onto the circle and swung **Chaoseater** from his back and stabbed it into the circle. I jumped onto the **Lurker** as he started to disappear.

Next thing I know, were in a large alcove of an ever larger room… filled with zombies just lying on the ground.

The **Horseman** went on ahead into the room but I stayed behind, not trusting this obvious trap.

As he reached the center of the room, a huge eye appeared out of nowhere and a gate rose up from the ground in front of the eye. A super creepy laugh sounded, echoing throughout the room.

The zombies started to get up and shamble towards **War**.

Then, as if to make things worse, the **Watcher** appeared, "Surely this is no challenge for the likes of you?"

It did seem to be no challenge for him as he slashed his way through the zombies. Some he just picked up and smashed their heads with his gauntlet, others he slammed to the ground making them explode in a shower of rotting flesh.

Once he got done with the majority of the zombies, demons started to appear from portals in the ground.

"Big Red! Behind you!" I shouted as a demon snuck up behind **War**. My warning was unneeded as he appeared to already be aware of the attacker and sliced it in half. He dealt with demon after demon but they kept coming and I lost count around 32 total kills. Eventually, one of the undead that eventually exploded appeared and started attacking the **Horseman** along with some of the demons. Talk about friendly fire.

Suddenly, all of the demons and undead that were still… alive fell back, dead… re-dead. The gate fell down

"Excellent." said the **Watcher** as **War** attacked the eye until it disappeared. A portal appeared right where we came in and we stepped on it and arrived back out at the graveyard.

The **Shadow Lurker** gate thingy also vanished as soon as we stepped off of it to go find the others. I assume there were others. More beams could be seen shooting up in the sky.

We traveled further up the road until we found the second **Shadow Lurker**. Stepping onto it, we were transported back into the alcove of the large room. Maybe it was a different room, now that I think about it. There was a large glowing circle on the wall that wasn't there in the other.

**War **went on ahead but I stayed in the alcove, having a worse feeling about this one than the other. The eye and gate appeared and greenish-yellow mist filled the room.

I couldn't stop the coughs that racked my body as I accidently breathed in some of the mist, "The *cough* fuck? *cough*" Really? Poison? Ugh…

**War** quickly dealt with the enemies as I tried to breathe as little as possible, unable to do anything else.

"Now THAT was entertaining. Can we do it again?" the **Watcher** said as the gate fell and the **Horseman** went for the eye.

Stepping onto the portal, we were teleported back out into the graveyard and fresh air.

I fell to my knees trying to catch my breath, "Thank muffins! Fresh air! So, where ta next?"

We passed back through the graveyard, strangely not being attacked once, to find the next one on the other side.

**War** stepped onto the **Lurker** and actually waited for me this time.

"Go ahead," I told him, something catching my eye, "I'll wait here."

He left without a word. And so did I. _Oops, I lied._

I went down some nearby stairs I saw something fly down earlier. There was nothing there now and nowhere else to go but up and back the way I came. Whatever came down here had already left. Bummer, I was curious…

I turned to go back the way I came with a sigh, it'd been more fun if I'd gone with the **Horseman**, but stopped when a shadow fell over me.

"Back already Big Red? That didn't take long." I said, expecting **War** when I looked up. Instead I found a huge black figure with glowing red eyes. You know, the generic evil shadow description.

I tried to back up, because I like my personal space, but found that I couldn't move. Couldn't even breathe. Could barely think beyond words I'm not going to repeat here.

The shadow let out a deep chuckle that sent shivers up and down my spine, and not in the good way, as it stalked around me. "_**Heh, heh, heh, look at the poor human, the last human, frozen in fear.**_"

_That's what this is? Fear? _Not to sound braggish, but I honestly can't remember the last time I felt actual, factual fear. Even when I was being chased by demons, that was more fun than scary.

"_**So weak, so pitiful. You were brought back to life and sent here, but for what reason?**_"

_How the hell should I know?_

"_**Heh, I didn't expect you to know.**_"

_Then why didja ask? Wait…the fuck…? Get out o' my head and lemme go!_

"_**I'm not the one holding you, little human.**_"

_Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just leave then._

"_**You do not want what I have to offer?**_"

_Probably not but… now I'm curious._

The shadow outright laughed, "_**What is that human expression? Curiosity killed the cat?**_"

_It's a good thing I'm not a cat then, isn't it?_

"_**Yes it is. You were sent here with no powers of your own, unable to combat the forces that now roam the Kingdom of Man-**_"

_Blah, blah, blah, just get ta the point already wouldja?_

If Shadow Man was angry that I interrupted him, he didn't show it, "_**I will give you the power you desire.**_"

_The only thing I _desire_ right now is a good nap. And if this is some kind o' "sell your soul ta the devil" sort o' thing, ya can forget it. The only thing I'll sell my soul fer is a never endin taco._

"_**Amusing. No, I do not want your soul, but entertainment.**_"

_Whoa, I'ma have ta stop ya right there dude. I'm not a stripper, I don't do that shit. If ya want me breathe fire though I need lighter fluid and some matches._

Mr. Tall, Dark and Creepy let out another chuckle, "_**Wrong entertainment on both accounts. You just have to continue what you are already doing.**_"

_Ya mean not movin and about ta pass out? That doesn't seem very fun ta watch._

"_**Travel with the Horseman. I wish to see how this story unfolds.**_"

_You and me both… But seriously, everythin's goin black._

"_**Do not worry…Hope.**_"

_How'd you…_

"_**Here is the power I promised."**_

_Almost hate ta say this, but ya promised noth-_

Shadow Man raked his clawed fingers down my arms and they started to burn. Like, "I dipped them in lava because I thought it was pudding and don't ask why I would stick my arms in pudding in the first place" kind of burn. I would have screamed but again, couldn't move or draw breath _to_ scream. The last thing I remember was falling to the concrete and Mr. Shadow standing above me.

"_**Give me a good show, little Hope.**_"

_I'm…not…little… _Everything went black and I got the nap I desired.

However, it didn't last too long.

"Is she dead?" I heard the **Watcher **ask, as if from a distance. How did I know it was the **Watcher**, you ask? Because I wanted to strangle the owner of the voice immediately.

"Don'tcha wish." I groaned, opening my eyes to find that I was right. And that I was lying in the middle of the road at the top of the stairs. I would have thought I'd lain down here - wouldn't be the first time I've taken a nap in the middle of a road - and the whole encounter with Shadow Man was a dream if not for the fact that my arms still felt like they had a nasty sunburn.

I tried to push myself up but only succeeded in falling back down, "Say one thing, ya damn sprite, and I'll slit that scrawny throat o' yours and spill whatever blackened blood ya may er may not have." I may be tired but never too tired for a death threat.

He laughed at me, "How are you going to do that from down there, human?"

"I don't believe I said I was goin ta do it down here er even _when_ I was going ta do it. So ya better watch your back, **Watcher**." I keep telling everyone not to wake me up but do they listen? Nooooo, and then they expect an apology when I pull a knife on them. Impudent curs.

"Enough," **War** interrupted, "let's go." He walked off, heading towards the last light beam.

"Not much o' a talker, is he?" I thought out loud, struggling to my feet.

"Not one to shut up, are you?" the **Watcher** shot back. He was still here?

"Not one ta be talkin, are ya?" I feigned a gasp and a look of surprise and pointed at something past the **Watcher**, "Look out! B-b-behind you!"

"What?!" The sprite whipped around to look behind him only to find an empty road.

Meanwhile, I had run off after **War**.

Chasing after the **Horseman**, I noticed strange black markings running down both of my arms from my shoulders to the back of my hands. The same places that Shadow Man scratched.

"No one thought ta tell me about these?" I asked, studying the markings.

As expected, I got no answer.

Spiked black vines roped their way around and down my arms until they reached the backs of my hands where two glowing flowers bloomed, the left green and the right red. Red and green runes also seemed to be written on the vines but I couldn't tell what they said.

I could feel blood or power or… _something_ thrumming through my veins. Honestly…it felt pretty amazing. But I'm getting off topic here… Whatever that topic may be…

Forgetting about my encounter with the Shadow Man - How cliché is that name? - I followed **War** onto the **Shadow Lurker **and back into the room.

The whole eye/gate appearing song and dance was repeated. **War** knocked the demons that appeared into the air and hacked them into pieces in midair. I wonder how he knew what to do to get out of here...

"Excellent." **Watcher **repeated. Why does he appear only when it's convenient for him? In any case, we left, the **Horseman's** job finally done.

"That MUST be the last of them, now let's get out of here!" the annoying sprite said once we got back outside. For the painfully third time, I agreed with him and we headed for the Gate.

**War** blew the Horn and Rock Man simply got up and left, "Ancestors praise you."

_We should be friends forever…_

We continued through the car filled tunnel and the door, which **War** kicked open, that was behind the Gate. A room, jumping, a dripping wet tunnel, more jumping, and another tunnel.

"Did we humans really have all these huge tunnels and why?" I wondered out loud. "Really, that last ledge even _you_ couldn't make it without jumpin, so how the hell did _we_ do it?"

Finally something happened when we reached "another tunnel" and were attacked by the giant bats. The **Horseman** easily picked up a wrecked car and threw it at one of the bats, permanently grounding it.

He took care of four of them while I struggled to bring one down. Showoff. Anyway, the batsies were quickly dealt with and we went on across the small pit, with the help of the blue orbs, and onto the ledge on the other side.

"Oooh, pretty." I said, noticing blue crystals at the bottom of the pit and wondering what they were hiding.

Anyway, through another door, another tunnel, another room, another demon- wait, what?

We arrived at a large room with a giant fan on the ceiling and were immediately attacked by demons. Nothing to brighten up your day like a good ol' demon attack. Really, what could make this lovely day any better than being attacked by fugly demons who really should be minding their own business? Well, besides not being attacked at all!

As per usual, **War** dealt with demon after demon as I ran around in circles, dodging the revolting creatures. That is, until one of them snagged the strap to my book bag, almost tearing it…

Quick anecdote. Don't know what that is? Look it up. Anyway, as I'm pretty sure I mentioned before, I _love_ this book bag. Once upon a time in faraway land called Art Class, my best friend - I have to put best here or else she'll call friend affair… don't ask - got blue pastel on the hood. Pastel is a bitch to wash out of most things. Her and another friend started freaking out and apologizing. Honestly I was more sleepy than mad, but they don't need to know that. And accidents happen.

Sleep deprivation and accidents weren't going to help these guys.

"No. You. Did. Not..."

Grabbing Barsus, I ran towards one of the charging demons. At the last moment, I dropped to the ground and slid, catching the demons legs with Barsus and tripping it. Scrambling to my feet, I pulled my knife from its sheath and slipped it into the base of the demon's neck. Lucky for me, their anatomy seemed pretty close to ours and it died instantly.

"Alright, one down… ya took care o' the rest…"

**War** had already beaten the rest of our opponents and was waiting for me to finish. Not like he had a choice, the exits were blocked by floating orange seals which disappeared as the demon did.

Grabbing my knife, I jumped up and down in excitement, "Uh-huh, I did it, I killed a demon, go Hope, it's not my birthday, I wish the apocalypse never happened." I sang, earning a stare from the **Horseman** suggesting that I was crazy. For the record, I may be.

"What? I bet ya were the same way when ya killed your first demon. Okay, maybe not the _exact_ same way but I bet ya were happy so ha!"

**War** didn't say anything, which I took as a confession, and left through the door and into *gasp* another car-filled tunnel.

As we were walking out, an odd thought popped into my head. Odd for you maybe, quite normal for me sadly. "Hey **Watcher**! Come out, come out wherever ya are!"

The sprite ghosted out of the **Horseman's **gauntlet, "What do you want human?!"

"Tes-ty. Anyway, come closer…"

He floated closer until he was within range…

I drew back and punched him in his screwed up face. At least I didn't use my brass knuckles, should have, but didn't.

The **Watcher **flew back until he crashed to the ground, "What the fuck?!"

"Ooooh, so I _can_ touch ya. Ya see, I was wonderin, since ya can turn inta mist sometimes, whether er not ya had a solid body."

"So you hit me?!"

"Yup!" I smiled. "If you're happy and ya know it slap the **Watcher**, if you're happy and ya know it slap the **Watcher**, it you're happy and ya know it then his face shall maybe show it, if you're happy and ya know it slap the **Watcher**."

"That wasn't a slap! That was a punch!" he said, getting in my face.

"I'm glad that ya can tell the difference. Here, let me make the song true then." I slapped him, sending him reeling again.

"Why didn't you just change the song?!"

"Because 'if you're happy and ya know it _punch_ the **Watcher**' just doesn't sound right."

"Why you…" He raised his hands as if to strangle me.

"Whatcha gonna do? Kill possibly the last human left alive? Ha! I dare ya ta try it…"

With a growl, the **Watcher** flew back into **War's **gauntlet.

The **Horseman **stood a little ways away, watching the whole thing with… amusement? Wow…

"Now that that's over, can we go? I'm tired o' tunnels."

So we left.

* * *

><p><em>Yay! Here's part three! Sadly, it's not the end…<em>

_I don't want to be here either,_

_Hope_


	4. Call The Elevator

**Don't own Darksiders. My thanks go out to detrametal again. That tis be all.**

* * *

><p>I ran ahead of the <strong>Horseman<strong>, suddenly hyper for whatever reason.

"OH MY GOD I'M SO EXCITED!" I went back to **War**, circling him as he plodded along, "Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up! You are far too slow!"

He didn't "hurry up" so I left him again in favor of the demon bats and zombies roaming about.

I ran up to one of the zombies and shook its hand as it tried to rip me to shreds, "Hiya Mr. Zombie! It's a pleasure ta meet ya!" That's when something weird happened. The zombie suddenly burst into flames. I stared in amazement as Mr. Zombie burned to ash then floated away to join the ashes on the side of the road.

"Awesome!"

Anyway, I proceeded to run around, tripping every once and a while on the broken pavement, as **War** dealt with the bats and zombies.

Finally done, he grabbed my book bag as I ran past him and held me suspended in the air, the straps digging painfully into my arms, "Calm down."

I reached for the ground, arms and legs swinging, tongue sticking out, "Why should I calm down? What's goin ta happen if I don't? Is another apocalypse gonna happen? Will I die again? I don't wanna die again. It was really painful. I hope I gave that demon indigestion. Why didn't it eat the cows? I wanna go by shark attack, er firing squad. Those sound like fun. I have a very morbid sense o' fun. I miss the Bear, and the Kiwi, and the Pimp Hulk, and the Mob Boss, and the Butter, and the… whatever my other friend was, and the She Bear.

To clarify, Bear=Brother and his beard, Kiwi=Mother, Pimp Hulk=Grandpa, Mob Boss=Grandma, Butter=Best Friend, my other friend=my other friend, She Bear=Brother's Girlfriend and another friend.

"I want a pet tiger, er a piranha, er a panther, er an alligator snappin turtle named Mr. Tickles. That would be totally awesome. I miss books, and video games. I had this totally awesome game that I really loved and ya got ta play as one o' the **Four Horse**-"

That's when I finally crashed and everything went black.

Waking up some time later, I found myself in the only building left around, the **Horseman** nowhere to be seen.

It appeared I had been abandoned… At least he didn't leave me out in the open I suppose.

I hugged my knees to my chest, keeping my back against the wall and playing with the bells and star charms on my anklet. What was I supposed to do now? Couldn't just sit here for the rest of eternity, hunger pains are a bitch. Plus I made a deal with Shadow Man. Not my best decision, now that I think about it, but it happened.

Just as I was dozing off again, I heard heavy footsteps coming down the stairs. Thinking it was a demon, I hid in a corner between the stairs and the wall and waited for it to pass.

"Wakey, wakey, human." The **Watcher** said, poking the top of my head.

"Touch me again and I'll break those spindly fingers o' yours one by one." I looked up at my traveling companions, actually glad that the **Horseman** hadn't left me. Couldn't care less about the **Watcher**. "Good mornin."

"It's way past morning, ignorant girl."

"And you're way past your expiration date. Maybe I should throw ya out?" I got up, dusting the ash from my pants and throwing my hood back up, "So where ta now?"

In answer, **War** went back up the stairs, the sprite flying back into his gauntlet.

At the top, fresh blood splattered the walls and floor and broken pieces of furniture littered the ground, evidence that the **Horseman** had already been here. Through a hole in the wall two blue orbs could be seen, leading to a broken highway littered with cars.

We jumped from road to road, with help of the orbs, fighting off the occasional zombie and demon bat. Zombies and batsies until we got to about the third piece of road, that is.

A huge demon somehow jumped from the ground and onto the first section of road, picked up a car with its huge claws, and… threw it at us. We quickly got out of the way - I was pushed - to see the demon coming after us. It would also be just our luck that the orbs disappeared.

As it got closer, and threw another car at us, I could see that this thing was even bigger than the **Horseman**. So compared to it, I was an ant, a very amazed ant. I wished to be friends with him…

Anyway, said demon had a skull necklace, a wicked ugly face, claws that seemed to be attached to his hands by chains, and… pants. Armored pants. Why didn't we have those a hundred years ago? We might have actually had a chance to survive the apocalypse! Not really, but still… Anyway, that didn't matter, we were friends forever now. Until **War** killed him, that is.

The Friend Killer **Horseman** first sliced off both of its hands, followed quickly with an uppercut, jumped onto its back, and snapped its neck. Poor Mr. Buttons.

"Was that really necessary?" I asked him.

He just looked at me as the blue orbs reappeared.

"Oh, guess it was."

We reached the last section of road and, finally, the building on the other side. And was immediately attacked by zombies. The way we were probably supposed to go was blocked by a blue wall of… energy? Generated by a red eye thingy that closed when we got closer. So now the only way to go was downstairs.

**War **jumped down through a hole in the floor while I took the civil way by stairway. At the bottom I found him fighting off four demons at once. He looked like he was doing okay so I left him in favor of exploring and found a neat treasure chest. Go me! Adventurer Hope does it again! What that is, I'm not entirely sure.

Hearing he was done with his little tussle, I called him over and watched as he slammed his elbow into the chest and ripped the lid off. There had to be an easier way to do that. Inside was a dagger like thing that sort of resembled the gate thingy upstairs.

Luckily, **War **seemed to know what it was and what to do with it and lead us back upstairs.

This time, when we got close to the gate, its eye stayed open and I noticed that its pupil look strangely like a keyhole. Not wasting any time, the **Horseman** took the dagger and pierced the eye with it, making the poor thing scream and blood spray everywhere. After turning the key - makes sense if it was a key - the **Horseman** drew back and the gate dissipated. Now, the only way to go was up.

At the top of the stairs we saw… angels flying around.

**War** slammed his back up against the wall, knocking me back too, as they flew over us. What could be so bad about angels that we needed to hide from them? I thought they were pretty awesome looking…

"This way!" the first one said.

_No, it was that way! What was that way?_

"It's nothing. Some demon trick." said the second.

_How can it be a demon trick if Big Red killed all the ones here? Then again, I guess they don't know that._

"I know what I saw." First snapped at Second.

_Apparently not. What _did_ he see anyway?_

Another angel floated down and landed on the top of the broken wall, right above where we were hiding, and we had to slink back around the corner to avoid being caught.

"He's right." she said.

"**Uriel**." Second said. Didn't catch anything after that.

"So what'da we do now?" I asked, looking back up the stairs.

Apparently **War** knew as he picked me up and carried me under his arm as he jumped over the huge hole in the floor and crumbling parts of walls, heading towards the hole in the wall we came through. Bad news is, the orb had disappeared again.

"Hey Big Red," I nervously chuckled, "suicide is never the answer, ya know? Especially if ya plan on takin someone with ya."

I screamed and closed my eyes tight as **War **jumped through the hole. I felt myself being thrown and hitting something and opened my eyes to find myself sitting behind an angel on a… griffon? How awesome is that?! And why was an _angel_, who had _wings_, riding a _griffon_? Anyway, the angel and I were staring at each other out of pure surprise when he was knocked off Griff and the **Horseman** took his place, holding one of their weapons obtained from somewhere else.

With **War's** added weight, we ended up dive-bombing but pulled up just in time to see the **Uriel** chick ordering the others to attack us. What a bitch.

"**Hellguard**, TO ARMS!"

"Slay him!" another angel said, as if her orders weren't clear enough.

"So wait, the angels are tryin ta kill ya too? What didja _do_ exactly?!" I asked, not expecting an answer.

"I answered the call." he said.

"Oh…okay. Then…let's get out o' here before they really do'slay' ya."

"For the **Hellguard**!" one of the angles yelled. What is the **Hellguard** anyway? Do they guard Hell? Seems like a backwards occupation for an angel.

I rode behind **War** on Griff as he fired bolt after bolt at the angels with their own weapon. Teach them to attack a **Horseman** and use long-range weapons that can easily be stolen.

"Bring him down!" they yelled.

We passed through caves, under a waterfall, over streets and buildings. All the while **War** continuously shot at angels, bats, and the occasional grounded zombie, all of them going down way too easily. Until one angel appeared that had golden wings instead of white and carried a cannon and a shield. In the end, he fell as well.

I'm happy to say that we even passed over another Mr. Buttons, sad to say that we had to leave him behind… More angels, more angels, more angels. And I was always taught that they were the good guys. So much for that…

"Hey Rock Man!" I yelled at the stone giant as we flew over him. Don't think he heard me though since he seemed to be fighting something himself.

More angels… more bugs, another Rock Man, another lava pit. Why is there so much lava? That's when we saw it… A huge ass demon that was bigger than even Mr. Buttons. It flew away like the coward it was and left the fire bats to deal with us. Or try to anyway. They went down just like everything else so far.

For whatever reason, huge rock spikes thought it was a good idea to start popping up out of the lava and **War** had to steer Griff to stay clear of those along with the attacks from the bats and all the other environmental hazards. Looks like the angels were gone for now at least.

Huge Ass decided to show up again and break a rock bridge right above us by flying through it. He also decided that it was time he faced us - meaning **War **- himself by spitting fireballs at us. Can this day get any better?

The answer is yes, and not a sarcastic yes. The **Horseman **brought down Huge Ass, took him a while but he did it, and we continued on out merry little way. Over another lava pit and through more bugs…

More bugs, more fire bats, more bugs _and_ fire bats. When will it end? Pretty sure I dozed off at one point.

We finally exited the seemingly endless cave to see a huge… _thing_ flying around in the distance. As we got closer, the thing - which turned out to be a humongous bat - attacked poor Griff and hit **War** with its tail, in turn hitting me, and knocking us both off.

It was _the _bat. You know, the one that attacked and ate me at the beginning of the story? Remember? I know it was a long time ago but c'mon.

As we fell, the **Horseman** did something weird. He wrapped himself around me so that he landed on his back and I bounced off his chest, unharmed. Mostly unharmed anyway.

I guess we had arrived at our destination.

We had a bat to kill.

* * *

><p><em>Here's four! If this is the same person who found the other three, why are you still reading these? Why am I still writing them?<em>

_Still missing Mr. Buttons,_

_Hope_


	5. Midnight Church

**We should all know the routine by now so say it with me. I do not own Darksiders. If you do, you didn't have to say that, congratulations, and why aren't you working on a third?! Also, thank you detrametal. Also also, I respect all religions. I'm just throwing mine in here a bit cause it's easier.**

* * *

><p>"<strong>Tiamat<strong> I assume? Guess she wasn't up for having visitors today." The **Watcher** said, showing off his uninjuredness.

I'll have to pause here for a moment. So I was eaten by a huge bat. _That _was the huge bat that ate me. _That_ just so happened to also be **Tiamat**. **Tiamat** is one of the Chosen. I was eaten by one of the Chosen. Is this somehow significant? Un-pause.

"Son o' a mother… that frikkin hurt!" I said, rolling off the **Horseman**, onto the ground, and continuing to roll around until most of the pain went away. That was the closest I was probably ever going to get to being hit by a truck. Did _not_ want to do it again.

"Hey Big Red, ya alright over there? Ya ain't dead are ya? That would be a total bummer."

He got up with a grunt, otherwise seemingly okay.

"Allefty then, that makes one o' us." I tried to stand as well but only managed to sit up. In my defense, I am a fragile human and was more-or-less hit by a mountain. "Thanks fer the save and all that but can I ask why ya did it? Cain't be easy travelin around with so much baggage."

"I cannot let the last human die."

"Again, ya mean. You cannot let the last human die _again. _And I'm sensin an 'and' here."

"You… remind me of someone else." This was the first time I could actually get the **Horseman** to talk to me. I was going to milk it for all its worth.

"What, were they a smart-ass too?"

"Yes."

"I see… so was this someone a_ girl_?"

"…Yes."

The **Horsemen **had relationships? Wow… didn't see that coming.

"So what happened? Did you two break up er somethin?" Don't judge me, I'm a girl. Most of us are suckers for a good love story. Or maybe bad love story in his case.

"No." he said, giving me a look that would probably scare the pants off of anyone else. Somebody was in denial.

"Then wha happened?" What can I say? The Curiosity Demon had taken hold of me again and wouldn't let go until he was satisfied. Plus, again, I'm a girl.

"I answered the call."

I let out a sigh, "So ya said before but that really don't tell me-"

We heard the screeches of Bat Bitch and Griff as they fought and **War** figured that was enough questions for today as he started for the **Twilight Cathedral**.

Getting up, strangely feeling much better and noticing the green flower on my left hand was glowing brighter than usual, I followed him.

"That must be the **Twilight Cathedral** where **Tiamat's **holed up…" the **Watcher** said as we drew closer to the giant building, "let's not wait around for an invitation."

I believe the "invitation" would be more of a… what word would you use for "get out before I rip you to shreds in the most painful way possible"?

The **Cathedral** was… well, amazing. And creepy. Spires that reached the clouds, grand decorations… bats and lava. And this was just the outside. Lightning flashed in the background and it started to drizzle rain, adding to the "creepy abandoned church, don't you _dare_ go in there if you value your life and/or sanity" feel. Guess what we did. Go on, guess. That right! We went in anyway…

**War** kicked down the door and we went in to see a long hallway lit up by candles and a huge angel statue in the middle.

"Who lit these candles?" I wondered out loud. "Seems like a very meticulous and unimportant task fer demons er bats… Can the bats even light candles? I guess the fire ones could. Unless these are from a century ago, then it's a wonder they haven't burned down yet..."

"Over here!" the **Watcher** said as we neared the angel statue, flying over into a small alcove and to a sword stuck in the ground in front of another angel statue. Well, this is a cathedral I suppose. That doesn't explain the swords however.

The **Horseman** drew the sword and placed it on his back where **Chaoseater** used to be. Speaking of which, where did it go? Taking the sword, we continued on down the hallway and to the door barred by steel. Probably wasn't steel but it sounds better than just metal. On one side of the door sat _another _angel statue holding a glowing sword identical to the one **War** now had except this one was red. Opposite of that was the same statue but its hands were open, as if waiting for something…

Jumping up onto the statue, **War** placed the crystal sword into the slot. A blue magic circle thingy appeared around the blade and the angel _statue _- I emphasize _statue_ here because _statues_ aren't supposed to move - grabbed the hilt of the sword, mysteriously turning it red. Then, the steel barring the door started to retreat into the walls and floor, giving us access said door. Also, **Chaoseater** reappeared somehow…

The **Horseman** kicked open the door to show Griff getting thrown through the chapel, followed by Bat Bitch **Tiamat**. She took a swipe at Griff but he dodged out of the way and retaliated by knocking her into a wall and attacking her face. Good boy. Unfortunately, she pushed away from the wall and slammed Griff into the one opposite then threw him across the floor.

"Griff!" I shouted running into the chapel. He couldn't take on Bat Bitch by himself. Not sure what I would be able to do but… **War** was being way too slow again.

Being the brave soldier he is, Griff refused to give up and took the fight outside through a hole in the roof.

"Don't worry buddy! We're comin!"

"I never did like going to church. Let's gut the **Bat Queen**, and make this a short mass." the **Watcher** said.

"Quick question, when have ya ever been ta church? Wouldn't they have taken one look at ya and try ta exorcise ya er somethin? Is that why ya didn't like church? Poor baby, ya need Jesus. Where's a bible I can throw at cha?" I asked, searching the few remaining pews and not finding one of the sacred books.

The sprite just growled before disappearing back into Big Red's gauntlet. My job is so fun.

"Hey, do ya think we're comin back by here before we leave?" I asked the **Horseman**. Not getting an answer, I swung my book bag off of my shoulders and hid it under one of the pews, keeping Barsus, and ran after **War** over the lava pool.

While he quickly dealt with the bats, I explored, dodging the annoying creatures' attacks. The walls of the once beautiful **Cathedral** had been covered with what looked like grotesque flesh. Gross. From the ceiling hung a…

"Oh… My… Globwhatizzat?!"

From the ceiling hung a giant claw thingy that came out of a mouth thingy that was breathing out disgusting yellow gas… thingy. The claw was holding on to the head and shoulders of the huge statue that stood at the front of the chapel. Directly below the claw was a spider web of cracks in the floor. There were two doors on either side of the room, the left was blocked by steel and beside it sat another waiting angel, the right was free though and obviously the correct way to go.

Seeing the **Horseman **done with the current enemies, I called him over so he could kick down the door. Seemed like he had fun doing it so who was I to take that away from him?

The door led us to a courtyard outside where it was still pouring rain. As soon as we stepped out the door, lightning struck the ground and portals appeared where it hit to let skeletons come up and out. Which was strange because this definitely didn't look like a graveyard. I spun to go back inside only to find that the door had shut behind us and had been sealed with an orange-ish black… seal. But not an artic seal sadly.

"Good luck!" I told the **Horseman**, dodging the Mr. Bones and climbing the angle statue in the middle of the courtyard that looked as if it were either about to take off or dancing.

I watched and cheered Big Red on as he sliced his way through the first few, easy peasy lemon squeezy. Then more of them appeared along with a couple of bats.

Jumping up, **War** grabbed one of the bat's head and hung there while it struggled to stay aloft with the extra weight. He then ran it through with **Chaoseater** before doing a neat flip in the air and over to the other bat and repeating the process. Dropping the ground, he _just so happened_ to land on a skeleton, instantly crushing it. He turned into a blur as he whirled around and took out the remaining undead.

With all the enemies now dead, or _re_-dead, the orange seals disappeared and I climbed down.

The **Watcher** appeared again to get in my face… again. You would think he'd have learned by now. "Why aren't _you_ helping?"

"Simply because Mr. Frowns over there looks like he needs ta constantly blow off some steam. Not ta mention that I am far too fabulous fer this."

"What?"

I patted his cheek, almost cringing at the feel, "Do not question the Queen, silly little jester. Just follow along and do as you're told, that is all." I said, stalking off to the door opposite of the one we came in, seeing as how the other one was blocked by a Key Eye thingy, and wiping my hand on my pants.

Yeah… Did I mention that I have a queen complex sometimes? No? Well… yeah. It's there. Not necessarily proud of it but it's just one of the few (many) disadvantages of being me.

I finally got to open a door to find a short hallway and a room. After that, there was nowhere else to go as the next doorway was blocked by a huge red rock. Beside it sat two rocky cradles holding a spikey ball that was slightly on fire and emitted an orange gas. Bombs. Awesome.

As **War** came into the room, I became aware of sounds behind the red rock. Crashing, explosions, and… growling. Crud. Oh well.

Before the **Horseman** could, I picked up one of the bombs, - which wasn't easy, let me tell you - stuck it on the rock wall, and ran as fast as my legs could carry me. Apparently it wasn't fast enough as the bomb went off and the force of the blast caught up to me and sent me flying.

I landed at the **Horseman's** feet and looked up at him with a smile, "Can I do that again?"

"Are you crazy or just stupid?" asked the **Watcher**.

"Maybe a wee bit o' both."

Getting up, I ran ahead of them and into the next ro- pool of lava. Turning to **War**, who was right behind me, I wiped imaginary tears from my eyes, "Well Big Red, it seems you're gonna have ta go on without me fer now. *sniff* I wish ya luck. I know it's hard but ya have ta."

"Finally we get to be rid of this nuisance." Stated the… I'm waiting for you to finish. That's right! The son of a bi-… The **Watcher**!

"Excuse me but _you're_ the one who insisted upon me comin with ya in the beginnin. Now if ya need me, and I desperately hope that cha won't, I will be in the courtyard. Later loser."

I went back the way we came and into the courtyard. "Sooooo booooored." And I'd only been out here for two seconds, that's a new record! Actually, it's not. Luckily, it wasn't long before I saw **War** up on the ledge and heading for the door on the other side.

I started forming a map of the** Cathedral** in my head. Judging by placement of the door and blahdy- blahdy-blah, it would lead to another ledge beside the giant claw thing in the chapel. Which was a dead-end. So he would have to come back through here and the only other way to go, until Key Eye was destroyed… killed, was blocked by red rock and there was no way to make the bomb attached to the rock explode - that I could see anyway. Unless… he jumped and blew the Horn at exactly the right moment and the force could _possibly_ make the bomb go off and open the way. This was great in theory, however… the explosion could also hurt the **Horseman**, as could the fall. Plus, I couldn't tell what exactly was up there from where I was. I didn't see any doors but there could be a chest holding the Key, or there could be nothing. Just another dead-end. We could go back through the chapel but the only other way in there was block by steel until **War** got ahold of another crystal sword. The only ways to go now were up… and down.

I ran over and studied the spider web of cracks in the concrete. Usually, if it was broken up like this you would be able to see the ground underneath. Here, there was nothing. Just darkness. I even reached my hand down through one of the larger cracks and felt nothing but air.

On the ledge, right above the cracks, stood a statue. A statue that could be pushed off.

When **War** came out of the chapel door, I yelled at him, "Hey Big Red! Push that statue off!"

He looked like he wanted to argue or ask why or something but whatever.

"Just do it! We ain't got time fer this!" I could hear Griff and Bat Bitch's screeches in the background. They didn't sound too good, I just hope that Griff was winning.

Anyway, he did as I asked – told - and kicked the stone man off the ledge.

Needless to say, I had already gotten out of the way before it fell and crashed through the ground to reveal a hole beneath the concrete leading to parts unknown.

**War** jumped straight down from the ledge while I took my time climbing down on the gross vines. I found him on the other side of another lava pit fighting skeletons.

Determined I wasn't going to stay behind this time, I took a running start, jumped and glided across. Accomplishments! By now, the **Horseman** was already done and continuing on.

Ashamed as I am to admit this, I actually ended up clinging to his back as he ran across the wall over _another_ lava pit by hanging on to some metal jutting out of the wall. We made it to the other side only to immediately be attacked by _more _undead.

Across more lava, down more hallways, through a door the **Horseman** had to lift up. We found four skeletons on the other side but they didn't last long against Big Red and he was able to get the key out of the chest they were guarding. The other two doors block by iron gates, the only way to go was back the way we came. Great.

I'll spare you the boring details of our trip back and skip to after **War** stabbed Key Eye.

We entered a long hallway split up into three sections and separated by lava. At the end of the hallway was a large circular room and an obvious trap. C'mon, dead-end, guardian angel, the crystal sword we _just so happened_ to need? How could this _not _be a trap? Honestly, I would be majorly disappointed in our enemies if it wasn't.

Turns out there was no need for disappointment as when we stepped into the room an undead covered in blue armor and holding a giant ax thingy rose from a portal in the ground and roared at us.

"You are foolish to come here." he said, charging at us.

The blade of his weapon started to glow a bright blue before he swung it at the **Horseman**. We managed to get out of the way - meaning I was thrown clear across the room - and Crystal's ax hit nothing but empty air.

Why do I call him a girly name like Crystal? One: because he's an enemy, two: because I love to piss people - or undead, no discrimination here - off, Three: …you'll see in a second.

"Your soul is mine." Next he swung his ax in a downward strike but **War** managed to get out of the way again. When the deadly weapon made contact with the floor, blue crystals shot up, probably to do additional damage. Thus, he was named Crystal.

Big Red finally got the chance to retaliate and actually knocked some of Crystal's armor off, showing rotting green flesh. He looked way cooler with the armor. First a pauldron, then the other, then the helmet, finally the breastplate. Now he's ready for execution! Yay! **War** cut off the arm holding the ax then separated Crystal's top from his bottom and it was over. Spectacular, but I'd seen better.

I joined the **Horseman** as he took the sword from the guardian angel and we went back the way we came and back to the waiting angel.

Blah, blah, blah, we got there safe and sound and opened the door with a little help from the **Watcher** who only _thought_ he was being helpful. Boooooriiiiiing!

Fighting could clearly be heard on the other side of the door and I rushed ahead to push it open only to see Griff and Bat Bitch rolling around on the ground outside, fighting. Again, they took it to the skies where we couldn't help.

Again - there are a lot of "agains" here - we were at a dead end. The only other door was blocked by steel, a waiting angel beside it. There was a crystal sword nearby but directly above it was a small Creepy Claw that opened wider as we got closer as if readying to pounce. Also nearby was a bomb.

My serious thinking power used up for the next hour at least, I left it up to the **Horseman**. Grabbing the bomb, he lobbed it at the claw. Hurt by the explosion, the claw withdrew into the mouth on the ceiling and **War** took the chance to retrieve the sword. Apparently, Creepy Claw wasn't that hurt as it came out not too long after Big Red got the crystal weapon. Perfect timing.

Also, skeletons appeared! Along with another Crystal! Yay! Kill me now…

"You are weak." Crystal said, charging at the **Horseman**.

"If he's so weak, how did the last one o' ya get his rotten ass handed ta him on a silver platter?" I asked, going after the Mr. Bones myself. See? I can help… if I feel like it.

"I will cleave the flesssh from your bones."

"That's gross man! That's also what ya do ta fish! Mmm, fish." I yelled at him, dodging a skeletons attack and retaliating with my own.

Anyway, soon all of the undeads were gone, the doors were unblocked, and we were on our way. Ya know, the usual.

I followed **War** into the new room, which was split in half by a pool of lava, up onto the ledge above us, with help of the blue orb, and out the door. We're going in circles! Then we had to climb. Meaning the **Horseman** had to climb while I hung on for dear life. Embarrassing much? All this to push a pedestal off of the ledge. What was an empty pedestal doing up there anyway?

**War** punched, yes I said punched, the mysteriously empty pedestal off and we jumped down instead of going all the way back the way we came. He pushed it towards the wall, while I sat on it, since that was obviously the only way to go and this was obviously the only way to get there.

Up on the ledge, we went through the door closest to us, seeing as how the other one was blocked by Creepy Claw, which led us back into the chapel and beside Giant Creepy Claw. And beside the bomb. And also Mr. Bones but he doesn't matter here.

"I wanna do it!" I yelled, going for the bomb. I know now what I have to do. What I was sent here for. Nah, I'm kidding.

"No!" The **Watcher** said, getting in my way.

"Why not?"

"You'll blow yourself up!"

I couldn't help the involuntary tilt of my head to the side, "What do _you_ care? Ya want me gone anyway."

I dodged past him, grabbed the bomb, and threw it at Giant Creepy Claw. Who was holding part of the statue. With a spider web of cracks below it. I think you can guess where I'm going with this.

On a side note, I'm proud to say that I _didn't_ blow myself up.

The bomb exploded, Giant Creepy Claw went back into the mouth thingy - come to think of it, maybe the claw is actually a tongue… gross - and dropped the statue piece, which hit the floor and made a huge hole. Is that it? I think so.

We jumped down from the ledge - these wings are useful - and down into the hole of no return. Dun-dun-dun! There was a vine thing that we could have climbed down on, but where's the fun in that?

So we jumped down the hole of no return, went down the hallways of no return, saw a skeleton of no return. Wait…

"Wait Mr. Bones!" I chased after him as he ran away and rounded the corner. Now I know what you're thinking, "Stupid girl, it's obviously a trap". And all I can say is… yeah, I know. As soon as I rounded the corner also, I went running back to the **Horseman** with Mr. Bones and a few of his friends following close behind me. In my defense, Big Red would have had to fight them anyway.

So he beat them and we moved on, but what else is new? We finally got to a large room with cages hanging from the ceiling and bones stacked into piles. The whole thing looked like some kind of alter, but not the kind that you would usually find in a cathedral.

"What…is this place? I have to admit, for a bunch of weaklings, those humans were full of surprises. Who knows what secrets they buried down here?" the **Watcher** said, actually impressed.

"First off, I wish ta thank ya fer what I'm takin as a compliment. Second, we're not all weak. Third, I'm curious as well so let's move on!"

We jumped off the ledge, with no way back up, and went to the alter looking thing. On it was a… well I'm not sure what it was. It was three stone faces held together by chains, with a face on it, which were connected to the alter and floated a few feet above it. The whole thing was actually humming and my whole body became pins and needles as we got closer to it. I got the feeling that this whole room was built for this one thing, meaning this thing was either really awesome or really bad. Let's hope for awesome.

It took a few slices for **War** to cut through the chain and every time he hit it, it let off a green light. When they finally came off, it rose higher and started spinning as the faces came apart to reveal a… shuriken? Four curved blades with a handle in the middle to hold it by… yeah, a shuriken. It floated back down as the faces dissipated and the **Horseman** grabbed the handle and gave it a good test throw. It flew all the way across the room before coming back to him and he caught it.

Then the fire bats appeared out of the lava. And they stayed over the lava so that the only way to get rid of them was to use the Crossblade - they told me the name later. What a coincidence. Then undead came out of the lava. How they survived it, I have absolutely no idea. Anyway, they were defeated with a mixture of **War's** new toy and his old one, **Chaoseater**.

That's when that… _thing_ appeared out of the hole we came through. I couldn't tell if it was an undead or a demon or… _what_ but it was gross. Red, veiny, walked with a limp, and constantly emitting a noxious yellow gas… yeah, gross and probably an undead, now that I think about it. Let's call him Mr. Cuddles!

Mr. Cuddles roared, jumped down from the ledge and started quickly limping towards **War**, as I had gotten as far away from both of them as possible earlier.

Big Red held the Crossblade until it was surrounded by blue energy before letting it fly at Mr. Cuddles. The blades mysteriously stayed in one place as they cut the undead - we're going with undead - until the toxic gas disappeared and **War** could move in for the kill. And move in for the kill he did.

Stabbing **Chaoseater** into the thing's chest, the **Horseman** grabbed its head and simply ripped it off then casually tossed it to the side. Ew! The body spewed out toxic liquid as it stumbled around, just like a chicken, before exploding into a shower of rotten flesh! Yay!

After all that, a thing above the door opened up showing a blue crystal.

"Throw that fancy saw blade around a bit… maybe you can find a way out of here." The **Watcher** said, being unhelpful as usual.

**War** did throw the Crossblade and hit the crystal above the door, turning it red and successfully unblocking the door.

We went through and into a room filled with… oh my glob so much lava! What I found weird was that there was a faceless statue just sitting in the molten liquid. How has it not melted? Seriously, c'mon laws of physics or whatever.

Big Red killed the fire bats flying around and tried to turn the lever thingy, that I guess was supposed to make the statue rise up, but it wouldn't budge. It did however make the ground shake. I hinted that maybe he should hit the bomb on the statue to destroy the rocks. He did that, still didn't move. So he went on to find another one on the statue's back. Destroyed that, came back, turned the lever, and it worked this time. Oh joy.

The statue rose up and we found that it was holding another one of the blue crystals. **War** hit it, blah, blah, blah, doors opened, we went through, more lava! Good thing is that the heat didn't seem to affect me as much now, maybe I got used to it. Or maybe the glowing red flower on my hand had something to do with it. Guess we'll never know.

Going through the newly opened door, we found ourselves stuck… again. Except we weren't! Big Red hit the bombs attacked to the one pillar holding up the ceiling, making the whole thing come crashing down in front of us. Okay, maybe not the whole thing, just part of it. Enough to give us a walkway across the lava and into the next room where **War** had to repeat the process. Except these didn't explode like they were supposed to. I guess noticing the odd torches, Big Red hit one, which somehow carried the fire to the screwed up bombs and causing them to explode then. Hmm… Then we could jump across, careful of spewing lava, and climb onto the ledge on the other side, and go through the door.

On the other side was a huge room with a platform in the middle with three waiting angels on it. Which meant three crystal swords needed to be found. Joyous frikkin days. More cages hung from the ceiling and demonic looking goats barfed up lava. Honestly, whoever built this place had absolutely no taste, nor decorating skills, whatsoever.

Moving on, three doors, only one blocked, and three missing swords? Let's do this.

We went to the closest door, that wasn't blocked, and through it. On the other side was… a stone walkway connecting our side to the other which was blocked by another demonic face barfing magma. I guess the whole thing was supposed to turn as there were gears down below but they were stuck by more red rock.

I waited on the center platform as **War** ran back and forth down below. First, he dropped straight down onto the gears below then onto a lower level alcove to grab the inactive bomb there then carried it over to the rocks blocking the gears and blew them up, with help of a random torch.

I would have helped and turned the lever attached to the statue but it was way too heavy for me, so the **Horseman** had to climb back up and do it himself. That activated whatever mechanism made the gears turn and the walkway moved and he had to hurry to get on.

Once it stopped, he got off and had to make a line of inactive bombs to the rocks blocking the path before hitting the only active one and causing a chain reaction. With the rock out of the way, **War** made it to the lever and turned it to make a statue holding a blue crystal rise up out of the lava. How had it not melted either?

He made it back to the platform but that's when the fire bats attacked and he couldn't make his stop. So we waited in awkward silence as it turned around again. It wasn't actually all that awkward since he probably didn't care and my mind was totally elsewhere.

He got to the other side only to find that he needed a bomb so he ran all the way to the other side and back, but still had to wait for the walkway to turn. Rocks exploded, lever was turned, crystal holding chick came up, blah.

**War **hit both crystals with one throw and the demon face shut its trap and steam came out of its nose. Lava was still coming out of the corners of its mouth though. Big Red went through, got the sword, came back, and unfortunately for me the walkway had stopped spinning. I was having fun.

We left there and went back into the waiting room where he placed the sword in one of the waiting angel's hands. One down! We went on to the only other unblocked door, besides the one we first came through, with help of the ever present blue orb.

The next room was nothing but lava with two square platforms all the way on the other side of the room. The only way to get across was a thick cable blocked two by cauldron things holding lava. These were easily taken care of as **War** hit the bombs attached to them with the Crossblade, causing them to explode and the way to be freed up.

I decided to not take any chances and wait where I was as he slid down the cable and to the other side of the room where there was solid ground to stand on. There, he turned a lever and more platforms rose out of the lava and the two that were already up sunk down. Also bats appeared. They weren't there for long.

He jumped from platform to platform until he could reach the crystal holding chick on my side of the room and hit the crystal with the Crossblade. More platforms rose up and he could reach the other crystal on my side. More platforms rose up, few sunk down, more bats appeared, few slices of cake would be nice right now, and now he could reach the third crystal on the left side of the room.

Quick question, if humans built all of this, how were _we_ supposed to reach all of this stuff? What, did they throw rocks at the crystals or something? Remember, the Crossblade was locked up. Even if it wasn't, I seriously doubt that any human could have wielded that thing. Just something to think about, I guess.

**War** hit the crystal and a single platform rose up in the middle with a bomb on it. Jumping over onto it, Big Red picked up the round explosive and threw one at the rocks covering a hole on the other side of the room.

Jumping from platform to platform again, he was able to jump through the hole and grab onto another cable on the other side and use it to move on. After a while he dropped down and I lost sight of him.

So here I was, all alone. No one here beside me. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. For the first time in a very long while, I let my mind drift into its deepest, darkest recesses. Things I almost never think about started to come to the forefront. Sights, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, faces, memories. People and places I would never see again, things I would never do, foods I would never get to taste. All of them now just a simple memory of a life long past gone. A life that didn't seem like it was mine to begin with.

A weird feeling bubbled up in my chest, a feeling I didn't like. Tears prickled in my eyes, demanding release, but I held them back. I had already cried once and that was enough.

I was so out of it that I didn't even realize when the **Horseman** came back and was standing right above me until he grabbed my arm to help me to my feet.

Pushing the dark thoughts back into their corner, I gave him a smile, "Thanks. So ya got the next sword? Then we best be movin on."

We went back into the waiting room and **War** put the sword into one of the remaining two waiting angel's hands, causing the iron grate blocking the third door to lift up.

On the other side was just a simple desolate room. No doors, no ledges, no sword, nothing. The only thing noteworthy there was a guardian angel standing over a chest. We went further into the room but as soon as we did the door behind us sealed shut and the chest disappeared through a red and black portal in the ground. More portals appeared to let skeletons into the room.

As usual, it didn't take us long to deal with the undead and the chest reappeared and the door unsealed. Big Red smashed open the chest to find… a key. Which meant we had to go all the way back to the Key Eye in the room with the faceless and un-meltable statue I thought, and hoped, that we could ignore. What a pain.

We made it back, only running into two undead, and through the door to find another lava filled room… and fire bats. There was no way to the left ledge but the right one could be reached by climbing, jumping and the **Horseman**. Meaning I was being left behind… again. Something tells me Shadow Man wouldn't be too happy about this but oh well.

Big Red left and I watched as he climbed across to the right ledge and turned a lever, making a platform rise up out of the lava on the left side. After he went through the door, I lost sight of him. Duh.

I took a nap. Hey, don't judge me. Rest while ya can right? I did wake up briefly when the ground started to rumble and got up to see another platform rising up and **War** jumping across them to the other side. I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

Sometime later.

"Wakey, wakey, human." The **Watcher's** voice came from beyond the beyond.

"I have a name." I yawned, stretching. It seemed **War** had gotten the last crystal sword and was ready to hand it over to the waiting angel.

So we went back to the waiting room, the **Horseman** placed the sword in the last slot and the ground started to rumble.

"Enough with the damn earthquakes already! I get it! The world ended, no need ta keep showin off!" Except it wasn't an earthquake. Honestly, I should have known.

The last sword in place, the floor started to rise and piece by piece the ceiling opened up so that were back outside and being pelted by rain. After the floor came to a stop, the orange seal blocking one of the doors dissipated and the door opened. And it did it all by itself! I'm so proud.

"Wait here." Big Red told me, going through the now open door.

As soon as he was through, the door started to close behind him and I slipped in just in time.

"Oopsies."

Before he could say anything, if he was that is, I ran up the spiraling stairs ahead of him and onto the roof where it was still pouring rain.

Said roof was cover in rotting corpses and blood. Yuck.

"Has the **Council** reduced the **Horsemen** to common assassins?" asked Bat Bitch, hanging on to the side of a tower and holding Griff in one claw, "Or has **Samael **bought your loyalty?" She dropped Griff where he landed with a splat and climbed down to meet us. "Because, if you are for sale, Rider… perhaps we can strike a deal."

"You won't like my terms."

I was still staring at the body of Griff. I didn't know him that well or for long but I loved him. "Big Red, do me a favor and make this bitch suffer."

"The last human," she said, "I remember you."

"I remember you as well."

"You tasted good last time, maybe I should eat you again?"

"Try it and I'll rip ya apart from the inside out."

She laughed and **War **stepped forward, pushing me behind him and drawing **Chaoseater** from his back.

**Tiamat** let out a roar and took to the air, spitting fireballs and destroying our only way off of the roof as she flew away. Coward.

"This will not end well for you, **Horseman**."

She came back and floated just on the edge of the platform and spat fireballs at **War** from there. He grabbed one of the inactive bombs lying around and threw it at her then threw the Crossblade at one of the touches then at the bomb, carrying the fire with it and making the bomb explode. Yay! Also, how are these torches still it while it's raining?

She, in turn, lost control and crashed onto the roof where the **Horseman** could attack her. Recovering from her fall, she flew off again and swooped down, racking her claws across the roof a few times. Each time **War** just barely managed to dodge out of the way.

They did the bomb thing again but this time she didn't fly away but flew up and dropped onto the roof, creating a shockwave that knocked us both off our feet and instantly destroyed all the bombs. She charged at Big Red and he tried to hold her off but failed and was thrown into the air. She flew above him and shot a fire ball at him, making him crash to the ground.

"Now, see what your arrogance has brought you!"

_Ya mean what your attacks have brought him._ I thought, trying to stay out of the way as she stalked around the roof.

"Don't take it easy on her just 'cause she's a girl! I'll bet she's got a taste for steel!" the **Watcher** said, unhelpfully.

_And human flesh apparently._

Bat Bitch did her shockwave thing again but this time **War** was prepared and jumped in time to miss it. She also charged again but he was ready for this too as he punched her off and jumped up to do it again, knocking her all the way across the roof.

"You should have considered my offer. Such a pity."

The stalking resumed and **War** used the Crossblade to attack from afar, since if he got to close she would try to tear him apart with her claws or smash him with her tail.

Every once in a while **Tiamat** would bomb the roof - I'm surprised it's still intact - or shoot fireballs at the **Horseman** or do both, or pretend she was going to do one then do the other. Just like a woman, can't make up their mind.

**A/N real quick: before any of you start ranting at me, remember I'm a chick too so ha.**

After a few more hits with the Crossblade, Bat Bitch fell to the ground and **War **moved in for the kill.

Jumping up, he stabbed **Chaoseater** into one wing then reached over and grabbed hold of the other before ripping them both off. Amazingly, he was able to flap them and rise higher into the air then let go with a flip and land on the Bat Bitch's chest.

"**Horseman**…" she began.

"Do it! Tear out her Heart while she still lives… I want to hear her scream!"

I don't usually enjoy the sound of screaming but I can make an exception this time…

"…I am… one of the Chosen… I can grant… your every wish…" Sounded like she was in pain. Good.

"Can you restore the Balance?" he asked. She just laughed and I guess **War** took that as a no. he plunged his gauntlet into her chest, spraying blood and, indeed, making her scream in pain. Pulling his hand out, he held her Heart, which was still beating.

"No wonder **Samael** want's this thing, it's COURSING with power! You really think he's going to let you live long enough to collect on your end?" asked the **Watcher**

For whatever reason, the **Horseman** crushed the heart and I was wondering "What the hell?" when I realized that it was probably just absorbed into his gauntlet like the souls were.

**Tiamat** dissipated and, with the way we got here destroyed, we had no other choice but to step onto the blue circle that appeared in the middle of the roof.

We arrived outside and I ran back in to get my book bag while **War** tried to find a way off this forsaken island.

I stepped out to see **Vulgrim** floating towards the **Horseman**, "Tragic… Without your feathered friend, how will you escape this prison of rock?"

"I'll find a way." answered **War**.

"Ya bet we will." I said, joining them.

"You have certainly proven yourself… resourceful."

Big Red ignored him and walked on to try and find another way but was followed by the demon.

"Perhaps I can provide a quicker way."

"Speak plainly, Demon…"

"**Serpent Holes**… Ancient paths that worm their way beneath the husk of this dead world… and beyond." he explained, poking **War** in the shoulder. "I use them to get about, and for a price… so can you."

"Great, another 'sell your soul' deal." Again, I was ignored.

"What do you want… **Vulgrim**?"

"Nothin good…"

"A trifle really… the Chosen's heart. I felt its power the moment you stepped form that tower."

"Oh hell naw."

**War **glared angrily at the merchant, looking as if he was getting ready for a fight.

"You wound me, **Horseman**…"

_Can I do it instead?_

"I would never come between you and your friend **Samael**. No, I only wish to look at the heart."

_This guy is really expressive with his hands ain't he?_

"One glance… and our bargain is sealed."

**War** brought out the heart and **Vulgrim** started to reach for it hungrily.

"Big Red…" I whispered, nudging him with my elbow. This demon wanted more than a simple glance and if the **Horseman** wasn't careful, he would get it.

**War** snatched the heart away and **Vulgrim** glared at us for a second before quickly masking his anger.

"**Samael** will be pleased." He started to float off before remembering something, "The **Serpent Holes **are yours, **Horseman**. Seek me out when you wish to use them."

"Let's take the Heart back to **Samael **and see what he has to offer. A deal's a deal." the **Watcher **said as we followed **Vulgrim** back to his little circle where another blue portal like the one on the roof opened up.

Stepping onto the small portal, we were instantly transported to…someplace. The best I can describe it is as some unending space. Nothing but blue and black clouds. Crumbling columns stood next to the stone walkway we were on and could also be seen farther out and **Vulgrim's** medallion thing could be seen hanging above us at regular intervals.

As we walked, I noticed that some of the walkway was missing but sometimes flat stones would rise up from somewhere beneath us to fill in the space. When we stepped on the stones, they began to glow and runes appeared. As soon as we made it to the other side, they would drop back down. Talk about weird.

We went downstairs, upstairs, across more bridges, to Grandmother's house we weren't going, until we finally reached another portal.

We stepped onto it and…

* * *

><p><em>Does anyone realize how annoying that place was?!<em>

_Really needing another nap,_

_Hope_


	6. We're Back Here

**Don't own Darksiders. Once again, thanks detrametal. Is that it? Yeah? Then I'm leaving. Sooo… enjoy… danishes.**

* * *

><p>Where<em> am I? <em>Who _am I? How did I get here? Whoa… Who izzat? That is one big dude. _These are the questions, and one statement, that ran through my head after coming through the **Serpent Hole** before all of my memories came rushing back. It was all a huge headache and I wondered if **War** experienced the same momentary confusion. Seeing as how he was actually standing and I was on the ground, I doubted it.

I got up with a groan as Big Red started to walk off.

We got there without incident to find **Samael** sitting on one of the gargoyles, which was no longer puking up blood. Maybe it ran out.

I hid behind one of the other stone monsters, still close enough to hear what was being said, while **War** and the **Watcher** went on.

"I trust that she suffered?" Sam asked, getting down.

"Not nearly enough." answered the **Watcher**.

_What a suck up._

The **Horseman** handed over the Heart and Sam snatched it from him.

"Beautiful…"

_I guess everyone has their own opinion._

"It's no use hiding, human."

…_Maybe he's talkin about a different human. I'll just stay here and_-

My thoughts were interrupted as an orange- mist surrounded me and I rose in the air.

"Hey! The fuck?! This is _so_ not cool! Okay, it's a little cool!" I was brought out from my hiding spot and ended up face-to-face with **Samael** himself. I also somehow ended up upside down… "Um, hi there Sammy. Do ya mind puttin me down? Ya know, gently and on my feet, if ya can. Also, how did ya know I was there?"

"I have my ways, little human." he chuckled.

I managed to sit up and cross my arms, "I'm not little! Everyone else is just huge!"

He chuckled again but set me down and I quickly got up and hid behind the **Horseman**.

"The second Guardian - the **Griever**, moves in tunnels beneath this place. But first, there is an… obstacle that must be removed. **Ulthane**. One of the Old Ones."

_Old Ones? Great, just what we need, an old crotchety dude shakin his fist at us ta get off his lawn._

"You didn't mention that before." **War** accused.

_He barely mentioned anythin before._

"Changing the deal already, **Samael**?" the **Watcher** barged in.

_Someone changes side fast._

"Be silent, filth." Sam said, backhanding the **Watcher** and sending him flying.

"Thank you! Bout time someone did that." …I couldn't help it, the sprite had it coming and I'm just glad someone _finally _gave it to him.

"My business is with the **Horseman**." he said, turning back to said Rider. "**Ulthane** is no ally of the **Destroyer**… but you won't find the **Griever** without confronting the **Black Hammer**."

_Wait, which one do we have ta "confront", __**Ulthane**__ er the __**Black Hammer**__? Er are they the same person… Old One… thing?_

"And that will require strength you don't possess… huh… yet."

Sammy stretched his hand towards the fallen sprite, surrounding him in the same orange-black mist but this seemed to cause the **Watcher** pain. Yay!

"URK! What the hell do you think you're doing **Samael**?"

_Causin ya pain. What does it _look_ like he's doin?_

Sam flexed his clawed hand and every time he did caused the **Watcher** more pain. I'm starting to like this dude.

"Tell him **Watcher**." he said, dropping the sprite. "How you stifle the **Horseman's** true power in order to keep him on the **Council's** leash. **War** - destroy this parasite."

_Please do us all a favor and end him_. I thought but decided to stay out of this. _And how did Sammy do that neat flamin eye trick?_

"You so much as blink at me and the **Council** will end you. BOTH of you! I'm PROTECTED!"

I couldn't help it. I blinked at him. Twice. I'm such a rebel.

"Not in here." Sam told him before turning back to the **Horseman**, "You are **War**! Rider of the Red Horse! Not some puppet on this pathetic creature's strings!"

_He has a point._

"**War**. I will make you suffer!"

_They're like the little angel and demon on Big Red's shoulders. For once, I'm rootin fer the demon._

"Focus your anger. A great rage stirs within you, clawing to get out."

A black mist came from **War's** gauntlet and the air around him started to heat up as he walked towards the grounded **Watcher**.

"You MUST release it. Or a puppet you'll remain."

The **Horseman** let out a roar before partially turning into some giant, fiery, awesome-looking monster and slamming his fist into the **Watcher's **face.

"You are reborn!" Sam said, mysteriously releasing bats into the air and laughing.

_Did he kill 'im? Tell me he killed 'im. Wait, where'd the bats come from?_

"What… was that?!" the sprite asked, picking himself up from off - or maybe I should say out - of the ground and rubbing his head.

_I would also like ta know what that was, and _why_, and _how_ you aren't dead?!_

Deciding he got what he came for, **War** walked off.

"The **Horseman** is broken, but there's still much power in him. For a moment I saw… one who would stand alone against the **Destroyer's **ARMY."

I know I should have kept my mouth shut but I couldn't help it, "What am I? A lamppost?"

"What?" the demon asked, turning his gaze to me.

_Act meek! Meek! Guys like this love meek people, makes 'em feel powerful… er somethin. Then again, I doubt he needs ta feel powerful._

I changed my voice to something sweet and more innocent, held my arms tightly against me, started chewing on a fingernail, and kept my head down as I spoke. The picture of a scared little girl. "I-I mean, I may be just a human but I'll help Big Red out any way I can. Even if I have ta fight angels, er demons, er undead. I don't mind. I'm not scared o' em."

"Is that so, little human?" he asked, getting closer.

I tried to shrink into myself in response to his closeness, "I-I'm not little. You're just big." With that, I turned and ran after the **Horseman**, hearing the demon chuckle behind me.

"What was _that_?!" the **Watcher** asked, catching up. I could hear the laughter in his voice.

"It's called actin, asshat. At least I didn't get bitch slapped by a demon then ground inta the floor by my charge."

He flew in front of me, making me come to a halt, "You're starting to annoy me human."

"'Starting ta'? Damn, I'm losin my touch."

The sprite reached to grab the front of my hoodie but missed and ended up grabbing the two necklaces I wore instead.

I could see his jaw moving as he spoke but the only thing I could hear was a dull roar that grew in volume and intensity with each passing second. Nobody touches my necklaces, unless by accident. Nobody except myself, that is. One was a diamond ring I got from my grandparents on a chain and the other was an arrowhead on a leather strap from my dad.

I could feel myself smile before my body started to move by itself.

"What are you smiling for?!"

I grabbed the **Watcher's** arm in one hand and started gently picking his fingers off from around the precious jewelry.

All the while he yelled at me. I didn't listen. The roar was still sounding in my ears and just wouldn't go away until I put this poor creature out of his misery. Or at least hurt him a bit.

Once I had his hand removed, I grabbed his throat and slammed his face into the concrete. Bending his arm back behind him painfully, I sat on his back to make sure he wasn't getting up any time soon. I pulled out one of my pocket knives and used it to clean out from under my nails

"Get off me human bitch!"

I grabbed the back of his head - Is that his hair? - and pulled it up a bit before slamming his face back into the ground, "Quiet while We are thinking." The smile was gone. The Queen was back. And We were pissed. Yes, I'm using the royal We. No, I'm not cra-… Moving on!

"Listen you pathetic creature, if you ever even _think_ about touching any of Our things again without Our permission, We will cut you a mouth on your disgusting face then break off your fingers and shove them down your throat one by one. Then We shall sit back and watch as you choke on them. No one will miss you once you are gone. You are replaceable. You are _nothing_. Kill yourself now and save Us the trouble of having to do it. We shall even lend you one of Our knives." One way to tell if I'm actually pissed off is if I'm taking the time to pronounce everything correctly. Stupid queen complex. Not like I _want_ to have it! Gets my point across though.

The **Watcher** started to yell again but I didn't listen and drew my hunting knife from it's sheath and stabbed it into the ground close enough to his face that it sliced his cheek a bit. Black blood ran from the new wound and down his face, almost invisible against his skin.

"Do We make Ourselves clear?"

The sprite chose to remain silent and just glared up at me.

I smiled at him, "I'll take that as a yes then." Jumping up and sheathing my knife, I chased after the **Horseman**, humming some tune from an old video game.

We caught up with him in time to see him throw the Crossblade at a stray flame then at an inactive bomb on the red rocks blocking our path causing it to explode along with the rocks.

Seeming to forget the earlier incident, the **Watcher** began to complain… again, "Why is **Samael** wasting our time with this **Black Hammer** Business? Argh, well, I guess we should get on with it."

We passed through the new hole in the wall and into a… yay, more tunnels. Clean flowing water could be seen through the grate beneath us. **War **chose to take the straight way down on the grate while I preferred using the stairs on one side. No way was I going to trip and break something trying to go the same way. Out of that tunnel and into another with both ends blocked so that the only way to go was through another doorway. Which is why the demons - and one undead - thought that it was a good time as any to attack.

A blue Mr. Spontaneous Combustion crawled out of a blue portal on the ground while Fuglies came out of red ones. Ya know, maybe the blue portals are for undead and the red for demons… Anyway, **War** took out Fugly after Fugly, - and I did help - occasionally hitting the undead on the side, but more just kept on popping up.

On the upside, the **Horseman **eventually did enough accidental damage to Mr. SC that he decided that it was time to really earn his name and explode, except it didn't which was really weird 'cause it acted as if it was. After that, Fuglies stopped coming up and we were finally able to leave. Exhausted and injured, but free.

Going through the now open doorway, we found ourselves in a fan room. We stepped onto the, thankfully, stationary fan. Below us, another one spun around pretty fast and way below that was a pool of water. Cool but it would be a very good idea not to fall.

We walked down the blade towards the center of the fan and jumped onto the next one which lead to a doorway, which lead to a hallway, which lead to a room with two demons in it, which were guarding a crank thing, which **War **turned once the demons were gone, which caused the top fan to start slowly turning, which made a very loud and annoying sound, which hurt my ears. Think that's it.

Going back the way we came, we jumped onto the now moving blade and waited there until it came to the only door we hadn't passed through yet.

Big Red got off first and was immediately attacked by the Fuglies waiting there. As I tried to follow, my foot slipped on the slanted concrete and I fell.

Catching hold of the ledge, I held on and prayed that the fan would break somehow and stop before it could knock me off. There was nothing else to grab onto that I could use to pull myself up. I was screwed. Curiosity overpowering common sense again, I looked down. The other fan whirled around below and the water looked like a steel slab. Probably would feel like one too if I hit it from this height. That's if either of the fans didn't get me first. I could hear the **Horseman** still trying to fight off the demons and I couldn't let him expose his back to them just so he could help me.

_Deep breaths. Calm down. Think, Hope, _think_!_

On either side of me were small ledges that the fan passed right over.

_Deep breath. If ya fall and die that's it. Humans are gone. As far as we know anyway. Death will come quickly so no worries. No pain. Little pain. But only a little._ _Dammit! I said calm the fuck down! _Yes, I realize I'm lying to myself. No, I don't care.

I slowly made my way over to the closest ledge. As I tried to get my foot on it, I loosened my grip for more reach. My mistake. My loosened grip, along with sweaty hands, caused me to slip again. My grave would be a watery one. This was _so_ not how I wanted to go out.

A metal covered hand clamped around my wrist. I say wrist but it was actually my whole forearm. I gave a relieved sigh as **War** pulled me up, a blood covered Chaoseater still clutched in his right hand.

He set me down on shaky legs and I instantly fell to the ground. I may not fear death but a near-death experience will make anyone shaky.

"Thanks…" I told him. _You're okay, you're okay. You're safe... Would it have been so bad?_

Finally able to stand, I threw my fist into the air, "Allefty! Let's move on!" Still had to walk with my hand on the wall for support. No way was I leaning on the **Horseman**.

We walked down the dripping hallway, the sound of the fan following us the whole way, until we were stopped by another demon attack, along with a Mr. FSC. I'm afraid I wasn't much help with this one.

Didn't matter, it didn't take long for **War** to kill the Fuglies and Mr. Fake Spontaneous Combustion, who shot screaming exploding skulls at the **Horseman** and laughed if they hit. He needed to die…re-die. Re-die he did, with his fake exploding.

We continued on again and it didn't take us long to finally get out of the damn tunnel and into bright sunshine, fresh air, and…

"Beautiful…"

* * *

><p><em>Sorry for the cutoff. Wait, no I'm not!<em>

_Maniacal giggles,_

_Hope_


	7. It Couldn't Swim

**Don't. Own. Darksiders. Random. Cat. Noises. Thank. You. Detrametal. Also. Cake.**

* * *

><p>Green, green, green everywhere! Blue is actually my favorite color but used to living out in the country where everything is green then suddenly stuck in the city where it's all grey… Do any of you know just how happy I am right now? Extremely.<p>

I ran ahead of the **Horseman** and under the miniature waterfalls to get a better look. The streams created by the miniature waterfalls at the edge of the tunnel ran off a valley like area already filled with water. Crumbling buildings could be seen rising up out of the water farther off. Crows flew here and there, cawing at our arrival. It's good to see that _some_ animal life still remained. Plants covered every surface, even the rocks were covered with green moss. The air practically _smelled_ of green.

This was sanctuary.

Except for the Mr. FSC but we'll worry about him later.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I rolled up my pants legs and splashed around in the water, giggling all the while.

**War** watched me but looked as if he was remembering something.

"Whatcha thinkin 'bout?" Wasn't none of my business but who cares?

"We need to move on." he answered, walking off down the small path along the edge of the valley.

"Liar. Thinkin 'bout cha girl?"

He didn't respond so I took that as a yes.

"Ya wanna talk about it?"

"No."

What he doesn't know is that I can get anyone to talk to me. Unless they are actually unable to talk, that is. "C'mon, at least tell me her name."

"…Alina."

"Allefty then. So was she another **Horseman** er what?"

"She is a demon."

"_She is"… well that rules out the "she's dead" theory._

That's when some Fuglies dropped down from somewhere - almost ruining my good mood - and stalled our conversation. Their resistance was futile… or something like that. Anyway, they didn't last long, of course. Neither did Mr. FSC and we were able to continue on our way.

I decided to try and keep him talking and changed the subject, "I could really go for some cake. How 'bout chu?"

"Cake?"

"C'mon, ya gotta know what cake is. Ya know, basically sweet bread covered with icing and sometimes decorations?"

The **Horseman** just looked at me and shook his head.

I sighed, "When this is all over let me find the ingredients somehow and a working oven and I can make some cake. Ooh, and some cookies. I'd kill fer an orange right now. Oh, er strawberries."

More demons appeared and stopped our one-sided talk again. But one of them was different. He was still fugly, yeah, but he had better armor and a different weapon. I think it was time to upgrade Barsus. The regular fuglies went down one right after the other until the only one left was the 2.0 version.

"Go on ahead Big Red, this one's mine." I was going to earn that new, more scythe-like, weapon. Taking it after the **Horseman** got the kill just didn't feel right.

Big Red went on and the demon actually seemed okay with this as he let him pass.

I placed my book bag on the ground before giving the demon a bow, "Hello Mr. Fugly 2.0, my name is Hope and I'll be your executioner this evenin."

He let out a roar before charging at me.

"Missed me!" I sang, jumping out of the way. Another swing, another dodge, another spit-filled roar.

"That's gross dude. Ya won't get any ladies like that, man. I know _I_ wouldn't go out with ya, cain't speak fer anyone else though. I mean, at least brush your teeth every once in a while. Oh, and don't forget ta bathe." Another swing, another roll out of the way.

"After that, we'll work on your clothes. Girls love a fashionable man. But not more fashionable than they are, o' course." Again with the attacking! I'm trying to give him some good advice and help him get a girlfriend and here he is trying to kill me! Oh wait… I started this.

"And we _have_ ta do somethin with that hair. Do ya even _own_ a brush? Do ya even own hair?" You know the routine by now.

"Guess it's my turn now." I sighed. "I wanna see blood. Throat slicin it is!"

I waited until he charged again and repeated the usual dodge and clotheslined him with Barsus, bringing him down. It was easier than I thought it'd be. He seemed dazed so I took my time sitting on his chest and pulling my knife from its sheath. My bad.

Mr. Fugly 2.0 was considerably _less_ dazed than I originally thought and grabbed me by the throat and held me suspended in the air as he got up. Once on his feet, he let out a creepy chuckle and said something in a language I couldn't understand. Wait, they can talk?!

In any case, I didn't like the look in his red eyes. So, I did what any other normal girl would do in this situation… Crotch kick! Okay, it wasn't exactly a kick since I used Barsus to hit him instead 'cause I didn't want to stub my toes on his armor.

In any case, it had the same effect as he dropped me on the ground in favor of grabbing something else in pain. In my defense, he made me do it.

Grabbing the handle of his weapon, I Spartan kicked Mr. Fugly 2.0 of the edge of the path. He hung on still but I hit his hand with Barsus and he let go. Barsus 2.0 was mine. I'll deal with him later, if he can swim that is.

I sat back on the grass. "Holy bloodbath that was tough. But I got my new weapon."

I grabbed my book bag, leaned the old Barsus against some rocks. Felt kind of bad to just dump it like this but… oh well.

I caught up to Big Red to see him fighting two more demons that jumped down from above but got there too late to help. I promise it wasn't on purpose.

He looked at me as I splashed up to him and showed him my new weapon with a smile. He didn't return it and we continued on. Jerk.

On the up side, it really was a beautiful day. Also, why are there so many crows?

Walking, more walking, literally jumped by more demons, I really like this new weapon, and woke up Rock Man.

"Forgive me, friend. I would grant you passage were it within my power. Do for me what you have done for my brethren, and I will hinder you no more." he said.

_Ya ain't no hindrance ya poor baby._

"There must be another way." said **War**.

_Why? It doesn't seem that hard ta kill those __**Lurker**__ dudes._

"The Curse must be broken. Then, you may pass."

_Don't worry Rock Man, Big Red's got this in the bag… right?_

He, like the other, breathed orange on us and everything got all freaky again. Good news is that it didn't burn as much this time and there were no blood tears! Yay!

"Find where these **Shadow Lurkers** hide and KILL THEM ALL! They can't be that hard to find." commanded the **Watcher**. Anyone else having _deja vu_?

So we went back the way we came and towards the first beam - I just noticed that there's like a smaller eye on top of the beam - only to find that the **Lurker** dude wasn't there. The **Horseman** jumped off the walkway and down onto a little rock outcropping down below. Not seeing a way back up besides swimming, I stayed where I was.

What? I'm not getting my clothes wet for nothing.

I sat and waited for him, watching the screaming faces rise up from the ground. Finally I saw the orange beam disappear and crawled over to see him jump into the water and swim to the next one that was on top of a building. I followed along the walkway as he disappeared. Not much else I could do.

He came back out, the second one disappeared and he jumped back into the water.

That's when I saw something fly - more like crashed really- into the tunnel where the first **Lurker** dude was.

…I really should have learned my lesson with Shadow Man but… Oh well.

Setting my book bag on the ground, I jumped down from the walkway - it's gonna be a pain to get back up - and used the wings to float down the last couple of feet onto the outcropping.

I stepped as softly as possible so that my bells wouldn't jingle as much and heard muttering up ahead. Finally the mysterious crashed, muttering whatever came into view.

An angel. Oh carps.

He was sitting on a rock, his… Halberd! It's called a halberd! His halberd leaning beside him on the same rock. His helmet was off revealing a handsomely chiseled and tan face with short white crew cut hair. He held onto his arm while muttering to himself.

I inched closer to get a better look only to end up stubbing my toe on a rock…

"_Yebat_, _tā made_, _neuken_, _merde_,_ irumabo_! _Vybliadok_! _Kuso iwa_!" I wouldn't recommend translating that.

The next thing I know, my back is pressed against the wall with the halberd at my throat.

"Whoa dude, calm down. I know it seems kinda backwards ta say this but I'm not gonna hurt cha."

His weapon lowered a fraction as he looked at me incredulously. How awesome is that word?

"A human…"

"Yeah, I'm a human. And you're an angel. Anythin else ya wanna point out Captain Obvious?"

"You're the human that has been traveling with the **Horseman**."

The sarcasm demon was rising up again but I pushed him back down, "Yes I am. I'm also tired o' things constantly tryin ta kill us so couldja please put this down?" I asked, poking the weapon still at my throat.

That's when I noticed the blood. It was running down the angel's right arm and dripping onto the ground. Instantly, escape plans started to form in my mind, all of them took advantage of his injury. Instead of executing any of these plans, different instincts took over.

"Oh my! Dude, you're hurt!" I ducked around his weapon to inspect the wound.

"Back away human!"

He tried to back away himself but I grabbed ahold of his uninjured arm and pushed him back down onto the rock he was sitting on earlier.

"Be quiet and sit down! Oh, and take off your armor ta where I can get ta the wound."

I guess out of shock, he did as I told him while I took his weapon and my own and leaned it against the wall. When I turned back, the angel had taken off the entire top half of his armor, showing off a well-muscled chest and arms.

_Deep breath. Ain't the first time ya seen a guy shirtless._

_No, but it's the first time ya seen a shirtless guy this hot in person._ Told you I was never good with hot things.

_So? We're here ta treat the wounded. Not gawk at their body while they sit there bleedin._

_Fine, but just a little but more._

_No! We don't even know the guy!_

_So?_

…_Good point. It can't hurt ta look a bit more…_

I shook my head to clear my thoughts and started towards the angel.

He watched me with wary glowing white eyes as I drew closer. For whatever reason, this offended me, "Oh, just chillax already wouldja? Do ya honestly think that a weak, currently unarmed human, such as myself could hurt cha?"

He relaxed just a little but he still watched me.

_Well, it's a start I suppose._

_A start o' what?_

_Shut up already! I don't have multiple personalities! Ya don't exist!_

Sighing at my own crazy, I looked at the cut on the angel's shoulder. It was deep but it didn't look infected and the bleeding had already started to slow.

"Damn, wish I had a first-aid kit er somethin. Er at least a rag ta wipe the blood away." I mumbled to myself.

The angel started to shift and I was about to tell him to sit still when he pulled a white cloth from his pocket.

_They have pockets?!_

_Apparently so…_

_I thought I told ya ta shut up and go away!_

"Will this do?" he asked, handing it to me.

"Well, yeah. Are ya sure ya wanna mess it up?"

"It does not matter."

"Okie-dokie then."

I took the cloth and pressed it against the wound to help stanch the flow of blood.

Holding the cloth in place with my left hand, I held my right one out to the angel, "Name's Hope, by the way."

"I am Aeneas." he said, taking my hand and completely covering it with his own.

"Nice ta meet cha Aen. So, mind if I ask what happened?"

"Demon ambush."

"Ah, I see. So you're part o' the **Hellguard**?"

"Yes."

"What do ya'll do exactly? No offense, but "**Hellguard**' is an odd name fer a group o' angels."

"We are so named because we guard against Hell's forces. When the Endwar began we came to Earth to battle the demons."

"'Endwar'? Ya mean the apocalypse?"

"Yes."

"So why are ya fightin Big Red?"

"'Big Red'?"

"Yeah, ya know, the **Horseman**."

"He rode at the wrong time and started the Endwar before the appointed time. The Kingdom of Man was not ready and was destroyed because of him."

"I doubt we would ever have been ready. Anyway, I don't believe that."

"What?!"

"Big Red don't seem like the lyin type. So when he says he answered the call, I believe 'im."

"How can ya believe him when he may have caused the destruction of your entire race?!"

"Never liked humans much anyway, even if I am one. In any case, he's huntin down all these Chosen motherfuckers just so he can get ta this **Destroyer** motherfucker and prove his innocence. Ya don't do that if you're guilty. Then you're like 'ta hell with this, yeah I did it'. 'Cause this is _way_ too much trouble if ya are guilty."

"You may have a point Hope."

"Also, wouldn't it be easier if ya'll teamed up?"

"What do you mean?"

"Ya'll are after this **Destroyer** dude too right? 'Cause he's the leader o' all the demons here on Earth yeah?"

"You are correct on both accounts."

"Then wouldn't it be easier ta take 'im out if ya'll teamed up?"

"I… had not thought about that."

"It's a wonder why not."

"I will stop attacking the **Horseman** and shall try to convince my brothers to do the same but I cannot guarantee anything."

I gave him a smile, "And I thank ya fer at least tryin. That's all we can do sometimes."

By now, the wound had stopped bleeding and I took the rag away to see that the cut had completely healed.

_Hm, fast healers I guess_. I thought, barely noticing the green flower on my left hand glowing brighter than usual.

I dipped the now bloody cloth in the clear water at our feet to wipe the rest of the blood off Aen's arm.

"There, all done!"

He looked at his healed shoulder then at me in amazement. "It should not have healed this fast. Hope, do you-"

"Human! Where are you?!"

The **Watcher**. "Great, just the voice I wanted to hear." I stepped out of the tunnel, "Down here! I'll be up in a minute!"

When I went back in to get Barsus, Aen had already put his armor back on and was holding both of our weapons.

"I thank you for your help Hope." he said, handing me Barsus.

"No prob, Aen. Anytime."

"May I give you a… 'lift' as you humans say?"

"I'd be extremely grateful if ya did."

Outside the tunnel, Aen easily picked me up with one arm and flew up to the walkway where he landed in front of **War**.

"What is this human?!" the sprite asked as the **Horseman** reached for **Chaoseater**.

"None o' your business." I answered as Aen set me down.

"Wouldn't you rather come with me?" he asked. Even under his helmet, I could see the wary look on his face. "You would be safer with the **Hellguard**."

"Nah, I'm good. But thanks anyway. Besides, I made a deal."

"As you wish. Goodbye Hope."

"See ya later Aen." I waved as he flew off then went ahead before either the **Horseman **or the sprite could ask any questions.

We went back the way we came and **War** blew the Horn, waking the sleeping rock giant who just walked off and climbed up a wall.

Finally able to move on, we went through the tunnel behind Rock Man and into another tunnel. Filled with water. Looked like I was gonna get wet anyway.

We dived in - my phone, and therefore my music, was officially ruined - and I clung onto **War's** back as he swam since he was faster than me. Had to be mindful of when he reached for **Chaoseater** to fight the electric fish. You read right. Electric fish. Hm.

I think I blacked out for a moment cause the next thing I know, we're on the other end of the tunnel and I'm on my back and looking up at the **Horseman**.

Please tell me CPR doesn't count as a first kiss. Does he know CPR? Kinda hoping not. No offense to him but… eh.

"Ya didn't… ya know, didja?"

"Didn't what?"

"Ya know, do CPR?"

"CPR?"

Really? "Mouth-ta-friggin-mouth!"

"No, I did not."

"Then I'm suddenly a lot better and we should get movin."

I held onto him again as he climbed up the gross vines - past the rudely exploding skulls - jumped to a thick wire, climbed across it to the other side of the huge hole in the middle of the tunnel, and dropped to the ground.

We went down an adjoining tunnel, ignoring the one that had **Vulgrim's** medallion hanging in front of it, and finally out into the open.

* * *

><p><em>Great, I'm wet. I hope whatever's in my book bag isn't ruined…<em>

_Making new friends,_

_Hope_


End file.
